talk alot
Monday, August 15, 2005
hello?! why am i thinking about relationships out of a sudden?
ok. SHUDDUP AMANDA!
nono. i cant. i dont wanna shut up. i still have to continue. i dont wanna feel sorry. you know it's tough living life filled with regrets. i dont want life like this. i wanna be happy, remember? my life must be perfect. close to, at least.
at times, i must admit, i really wish i have a bf. at least i can have more love other than parental love. yet, im not prepared to commit. i feel im still too young for that. im only a 17tobe. yes, there are people who think 17 is the right year to start seeking for true love. but im not like everyone else. i wanna be loved but i dont want to get involved in true love. perhaps im thinking this way becoz i dont have anyone in mind currently. but i know even if i have one, i bet in awhile, feelings will all fade away. that's my weakness. plus i dont wanna hurt another guy already. neither do i wanna get hurt. what am i to do? i want love but i am afraid. can somebody tell me what is the best way out?
i sound so contradicting.
im just not prepared to give up my friends. in fact, i never wanna give them up. not for anyone. NEVER. im not so nice to wanna give my spare time to anyone. im selfish. i want them for myself. i know there are guys who want their gf by their side when they are not feeling well. but im not a nurse who knows how to look after anyone. i never will be that nice either. im not those gf material lah. no commitments please.
PROMISES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN. to me lah.
so i think i still have to say no to relationships. sorry for being so contradicting throughout.
emotion-less
