Monday, February 27, 2006
My father is very egg. He is at least 195 centimetres.
I live very near my school, so I usually elephant to school.
These flowers cat last for a long time. They fade fast.
Don't believe his story. It's a Angela of lies.
i cant believe it. all these are total crap.
emotion-less
i did smth very stupid just now.
i cant believe i did it but i just did la.
it's a lil inconvenient to say it out here in full.
all i can say is it was the silliest thing i've done in my life.
have been waking up at 7.40am for 15min every weekday since last week.
wanna know for what?
yes. you're so right.
i gotta wake up to make sure angie dont go to sch late.
and obviously, with a cane on my hand.
i've taken over my parents' place to teaching her.
coz she's afraid of me more than them.
i just have to use the cane to hit the table once, she'll be on her feet.
how i wish i dont have to do that but i cant sleep well when she whines every morning.
so since im gonna be awake, i'll teach her how to be less inconsiderate.
after she head for school, i'll be back at lalaland.
i still cant help laughing.
=x.
emotion-less
Sunday, February 26, 2006
the shittiest stuff on earth.
why me of all people?
there are so many more women on earth.
why still me?
i feel very pissed off by the fact that things which shouldnt happen happened.
it seems to be like my fault somehow.
i mean although it's nth much, i feel kinda bad for things to end up this way.
i might not know the whole truth.
what im told might be just lies.
what did i do to have to face all these?
i want life to be perfect, rmb?
IKEA-ed ytd.
bought a bit of stuffs.
now my room is pretty neat.
=).
im very tired.
had been trying to clear my room since few days back.
it's still incomplete now though.
i know im slow.
but what can you do?
im born like that.
haha.
sometimes i hope i got all the energy to go out again like in the past.
i mean like go out daily meet my friends and all the crap.
that way, i can like stop my mom from taking for granted im a good girl.
she actually expects me not to go out.
couldnt even like catch a late night movie like before.
everything's changed.
can i undo the past?
but issit worth?
i really dunno la.
kill me pls.
emotion-less
Monday, February 20, 2006
i spent quite some time with the neoprint thingy.
though im aching now, i feel it's worth.
but i gotta do smth with the plastic.
this one isnt perfect enough.
i've got many photos of my babyself under the plastic cover.
only 2 recent ones.
the rest are stucked in some albums.
one sheet of transparency filled with neoprints.
ELFY.
powerpuff girls cut-outs.
that's about it.
someone pls pity me.
i cant find any of my specs box.
my specs is gonna be so dirty.
=(((.
i smell chicken wings.
i smell sambal kangkong.
i smell a good dinner ahead.
=D!
anyone wants to share with me?
oh ya. i have this urge to go to ikea.
i dunno what exactly i wanna get.
but i just wanna go there.
must wait till mommy wants to go.
it's pointless to go ikea alone you see.
abit sick.
mom got me two tubs of ice cream.
yeappie.
ok. she asks me to go have dinner now.
so tata.
anyway,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILLIE!
emotion-less
Friday, February 17, 2006
so many doubts i have to clear.
but where to start?
im feeling funny.
things are happening too suddenly.
i find it difficult to believe.
it seem like a joke.
i really dunno what exactly it's like.
not until you tell me the truth.
you are the only one who can help me out.
emotion-less
Thursday, February 16, 2006
being a teenager isnt easy. the ups and downs one has to face is inevitable. there are just too much to juggle with. from studies to family, friends and even relationships. far too much to cope. however, all it takes is to be self-disciplined and organised. yes, i know the peer influences from people around might be so strong that you cannot avoid. but still, it's about yourself. you can stand against wrong and speak up for yourself. not everything everyone says is right. even if majority says a particular thing is right, it doesnt exactly mean that way! are you trying to tell me that out of 10 people, 9 take drugs, the remaining 1 should do the same too? NO! it's never that way. and shall never be! so pls learn.
anyway, nobody is restricting you from hanging out with your present group of friends. making friends is your choice but just be sure of the people you mix around with. whether they are good or bad influences. dont ever let anyone ruin you! we only wanna see you change for the better and not the worst.
i could see a tremendous change in you in just a month. mom thinks so too. WHY? all the coming back late, screamings and shoutings, chatting on the phone for long hours and every vulgarities that come out from your mouth really hurt us. everyone in the family cares for you. dont you realise? cant you actually feel it? i seriously dont know what can i use to describe the disappointment in all of us.
i know you might be comparing me with yourself. the why jie jie has this, why jie jie can this and all the why jie jie this and that you have in mind. look, it's somehow the age thing. im 18 this year while you are only 14. frankly speaking, i was like you back then. fought for what i wanted and caused myself to be rebellious in a way. oppossed to whatever dad and mom wanted of me. what did i get in return? i lost the trust and hope dad and mom used to have in me. i dont think you would want anything like this to happen to yourself. to have them regain the trust again isnt a simple thing. trust me, you will eventually hate yourself for landing up in a state like as if you lost both parents. al the freedom you want can be give, but step by step. i've learnt this lesson and i dont wanna see you repeating it after me. as you grow up, more and more freedom will be given. it's just a matter of time. wait just for a few years. it isnt a great deal anyway.
learn how to respect people if you wanna be respected. teachers are not always right but they ought to be treated with respect by students no matter what. dont tell us you think teachers should respect you without you doing likewise to them.
there are so much more you will face. you have to overcome them all on your own. but always remember you have the whole family behind you. =).
emotion-less
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
well, i dont need one anyway.
what is valentine's day anyway?
a day for cupid to do extra work?
for pockets to be burnt?
it's actually nothing special to me.
it's just another day on the calendar.
a day couples go to posh restaurant together to dine in,
a day girls receive flower bouquets larger than themselves.
yes, a great deal for restaurants and florists, they get to earn much more on this day of the year.
it's actually money-making gimmic.
valentine is a smartie to have created such a day.
there's smth i miss so much this valentine's.
a gathering which we girls used to have together.
i dont know why but i just like spending vday with my girlfriends.
of course i dont get to spend it with those attached ones.
towning. kboxing. neoprinting.
and all the shit we could bring ourselves to do.
i just love them to bits.
who says valentine's day is complete only if celebrated as a couple?
emotion-less
Saturday, February 11, 2006
=))).
yes, the unrealistic stuffs.
what else?
seems non-practical yet achievable.
it's just how much effort you will put in.
i believe we can.
it wont just be a dream.
tamp just now.
cafe cartle for coffee.
aijsen for dinner.
it was kinda crap but was alright overall.
the differences in our thinkings were the thorns.
that was why we were like arguing throughout.
LOL.
gonna work tmr.
SIAN.
i dont feel like working lor.
but again, lack of manpower.
wtf.
shall look on the bring side.
it's only 5h.
-.-".
there's so many things we can do.
but which to start with?
emotion-less
Thursday, February 09, 2006
i dread it.
i wish i could just stop it.
i can go to the toilet for like 12 times in an hour when making my way to lalaland.
how pathetic can it get?!
maybe i should get myself some pampers to wear to sleep.
it will help me to move and whine less.
yet it shouldnt be that way afterall la.
what i exactly have to do is go consult one ass doctor.
which yes, i admit, im afraid to face the result.
i know i should look positively BUT how to?
i have to look at the negative side and think how i should face and overcome it instead.
aiyah. whatever.
shant think about it already.
went to temple today to pray to tai sui ye.
however you call him.
ytd saw baobei with her mom and grandma at joo chiat temple.
she went there to pray to tai sui ye.
must be wondering why we have to pray to him right?
well well, we, dragons fan tai sui this year.
we aint supposed to go to hospital to visit our patient friends or even attend any funerals.
it's like being overly superstitious but well, it's better to believe than to take it for granted.
gonna have bbq on sat.
a family bbq.
actually not really a family bbq also la.
i dont exactly know what kinda bbq it is.
mom asked all of us to invite some friends.
so anyone wants to come?
i feel it's more like a gathering for everyone around us and for the adults (other than my mom) to have an excuse to play mahjong.
and the kids will either be swimming, bbqing, eating or fighting.
and for me, im definitely gonna enjoy the food feast.
chicken wings and more chicken wings.
yummy.
=D!
i need someone to talk to badly.
but i dunno who to turn to.
im afraid to like disturb them.
like say call at the wrong time?
argh. i dunno.
anyway, i just wanna say, im not just any girls.
i dont do things i dont want.
i only will accompany my bf, no one else.
think of my reasons as excuses if you like.
it's not gonna affect me at all.
emotion-less
Monday, February 06, 2006
the first, it's as normal even till this moment.
the second, nth could be worst.
the thrid, the most wonderful ever.
the forth, was just a childish act.
the fifth, i'm sorry once again.
the sixth, i've tried my best.
life can never be perfect.
looking forward for the arrival of the 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th and more.
chuckles.
i dont know why but im thinking of him again.
yeah i know i shouldnt be.
but i cannot help it at all.
come to think about it, i was such an ass.
if only i can undo the past...
it's still as usual, amanda and her constipation problems.
i just cant stand it.
somebody help!!!
emotion-less
WTF i thought.
as expected, she was hoping to skip school.
all thanks to my dad who allowed her to do that.
i screamed at her for crying.
i scolded her.
SHE COVERED HER EARS.
i shouted even louder.
i had the urge to give her a tight slap but obviously i'd rather chop her into pieces.
i told her NO MORE TV FOR HER.
NO MORE PLAYING.
NO MORE EVERYTHING.
but you think she cares?
NO.
she'll just actually forget all about it.
how idiotic.
now, i've decided not to talk to her anymore.
not until she learns how to NOT CRY early in the morning.
emotion-less
Sunday, February 05, 2006
very emotional somehow.
teared like mad.
now my eyes are kinda swollen.
=x.
the movie is realistic.
something so SINGAPORE.
growing up is always the toughest part in life.
especially the teenage years.
i've personally been through it, and still is going through.
i see some of the scenes very similar to my own life.
parents dont really understand us.
they'll never do coz of the generation gap.
but there's one thing i've always believed, every parent loves their child.
even if they dont say it out, it doesnt mean they love less or care less.
pride has taken over probably ALL PARENTS.
every parent wants the best of their child.
who wont want to see his/her son/daughter becoming successful in future?
getting disappointed in one another is only normal.
it's just about how much the disappointment is.
i was disappointed in my parents before and so were they in me.
it's gonna happen to every single generations.
no matter how close the age gap is, there bound to be disappointment, quarrels and differences in thinkings.
so to those people who can actually tell me having babies earlier will not show an obvious generation gap, you are so wrong.
there definitely is generation gap between parents and child NO MATTER WHAT.
i personally think that parents should spend quality time with their kids.
they should never neglect their kids even if they have heavy workload or whatsoever.
without spending enough time, problems will crop up one after another.
like say you will never know how to communicate with your child, your child will rather talk to a friend than you and might even end up losing a child.
i think im saying too much.
i can end up writing a hundred more lines if i dont stop now.
so yeah, bye bye.
Father And Mother I Love You.
emotion-less
i farking hate it.
luckily i got this laptop as backup.
it's secretly hid among some stuffs.
i doubt anyone would ever find it.
haha.
=). evil grins actually.
it's the first time i'm actually using it la.
so there's practically nth inside.
spent quite some time transferring some files from my hp via bluetooth.
and i also managed to throw in the lovely family portrait.
now i cant make up my mind coz there are too many photos to choose.
could anyone kindly help?
should i put a ALL AMANDA pic or a SO FAMILY pic?
i cant decide.
well well, i'll slowly go think about it.
anyway, i met one totally rude lady today.
i tell you, i couldnt help but stare at her.
she farking dont deserve any respect alright.
she actually just walked into my grandma's place LIKE THAT.
come in like her own house like that.
even my grandma was like "WHO ARE YOU?".
she didnt even to like say hello to my grandma or whatever.
i mean so what if she's my uncle's friend?
SO WHAT.
she should actually ring the doorbell before she even opened the door on her own!
it doesnt mean anyone can come in like that if the door isnt ledged!
then when she came in she should like at least greet my grandma!
STILL EXPECT ME TO CALL HER.
JIE JIE SOME MORE.
WTF.
i die also wont call her.
im disgusted by her POLIETNESS.
all i did was commented to my grandma that she was HELL DAMN RUDE.
and omfg she wore a tube.
she farking got no breast la.
i mean so small wear what tube.
DISGUSTING BITCH.
nowadays im getting used to wanting to chop people.
whenever im pissed i'll say, "SHUDDUP BEFORE I CHOP YOU INTO PIECES!" or "WHY WHAT YOU WANT? WANT ME TO CHOP YOU INTO PIECES ISSIT?!" and many more la.
i dunno what's with the chopping thing la.
im just so used to saying it already.
but i definitely WONT chop anyone la.
emotion-less
Thursday, February 02, 2006
=).
went out with my parents.
actually to nowhere special.
just to my maternal grandparents' place.
had lunch with grandpa coz he wanted someone to eat with him.
he said he'll bring me to eat when he's free.
muahahaha.
that's my no.1 grandpa la.
=D!
after that i sat and watched tv for like 2 hours or so.
dad talked to grandpa, mom showed ah kim pics and angie played with eli.
we left and headed to the fortune teller's place.
it was the first time i asked to check mine.
the first card SUCKED la.
but overall was not bad.
went to pick tina after that.
that girl is like blind or smth.
didnt even see me until i made noises.
-.-".
went to pick lia then we went to temple to pray.
after that went to eat.
then hsh.
i changed into a jacket and left for tm.
lalalas.
was gonna meet pig for a movieee.
went minibits buy hairband.
saw yimin and co. outside urban dunno what.
talked awhile then went to find pig.
bought tickets for my kungfu sweetheart.
went to look for yimin and co.
headed into the cinema when it was time.
that show is funny la.
nice ok!
i was like telling pig if yimin was watching with us too.
i bet she'll laugh her butts off.
lol.
pasta mania-ed after that.
went to find yimin and co. after we were done.
talked with pig till around 10.30.
both of us went to take 67 back.
hsh. =).
one thing i dont understand is how those rumours spread.
why that way?
i dont get it.
emotion-less
i guess i can never feel that way again.
it's past bedtime but i still cant get to lalaland.
smth's stopping me though im dead tired.
i so hope to be sleeping like a log now but i cant.
why why why.
earlier in the day i waited for darling baby to come.
he didnt wanna call me!!!
sad sad.
when i decided i should go out, he asked where was i going.
he licked me instead of kissing me.
i swear i'm gonna miss him.
bugis-ed.
watched memories of a geisha.
hsh at close to 10.
my life's getting more and more BORING.
i want something interesting!!!
like say have more activities.
maybe i should faster look for smth to study la.
i cant be possibily rotting my life away what.
but one thing is i dont know what i wanna study.
scared later halfway give up.
then what?
LIFE IS SO MEANINGLESS!
emotion-less
