Monday, July 31, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIMIN!now all of them are 18 already.
i still have to wait.
ROAR.
emotion-less
Friday, July 28, 2006
i say.
i shout.
i scream.
i cry.
i plead.
and at last i sing,
"RAIN RAIN GO AWAY. COME AGAIN ANOTHER DAY."
hopefully the bbq wont be screwed.
it'll all depend on the weather i guess.
so i might repeat what i did ABOVE.
the insane bday girl to be asked me to bring angie.
it's like so impossible.
coz im so not gonna look after her.
I MISS PRETTIES AND HANDSOME.
emotion-less
Sunday, July 23, 2006
wth.
my mood is TOTALLY spoilt NOW.
i can scream.
today was the best day since the start of the depressing times.
thanks to the high school musical.
happy and smiling since 7.30.
everything's so ruined now.
im getting more fiery.
IM FUMING MAD NOW!
i can cry.
pls just spare me.
i dont want another breakdown.
emotion-less
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
i hate crawling up early in the morning.
it'll mean napping later in the morning
and waking up later in the day.
my vision is horrible again.
the fact i have to face now is i dunno how to handle soft lens.
they normally get stucked in my eyes.
i daren't put them on ever.
so i have to rely on my specs.
i cant imagine life without my specs.
but sometimes i still will forget to wear them out.
how dumb.
know what?
i'm living in a pig's sty.
emotion-less
Monday, July 17, 2006
why is it that K comes after J?
someone pls enlighten me.
i feel high spending time at watson.
picking stuffs i want.
paying up and bringing it home is the most enjoyable part.
i feel high once again.
bought a dress and a few tops just now.
not really things i like.
it always was NO SIZE.
i've pathetic luck.
emotion-less
Saturday, July 15, 2006
finding my phone again doesnt make me as happy as buying many nail polishes.
in fact, i find myself feeling miserable again.
oh how so pathetic.
i almost died just now at grand's.
my aunt asked me about my MAHJONG in front of my dad.
i swear i wanted to hang myself.
luckily my dad didnt lose him temper then.
if not, i may be dead right now.
though i dont see any wrong with mahjong playing, i wont wanna admit to know how to play in front of my dad.
the one person who i've know all my life to hate mahjong.
emotion-less
Friday, July 14, 2006
i was a happy girl ytd.
though vision ytd should have made me go crazy, i found myself smiling more than anything.
at least i feel better than the past few days.
bought alot of nail polish AGAIN.
muahahahaha.
that is what makes me high.
WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
emotion-less
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
so much for switching my phone to SILENT mode.
it's been 2 days since i last saw my phone.
also, thanks to the mess i made in my room.
i dunno when can i get my phone back.
i wonder...
seriously, im too lazy to clear the room.
yet i wont let my maid touch my things.
so...
maybe it'll take a MILLION years.
wish me luck.
ytd i felt like an idiot.
too tired after emotional breakdown.
wanted to sleep but had to meet my girls after dinner.
and stupidly, while waiting for dinner to be served, i fell asleep.
WOW.
im such an ass.
i hate it when you people ask me about studies.
i hate you all.
what the shit do any one of you know?
NOTHING.
everything i did was out of RESPECT.
emotion-less
Monday, July 10, 2006
i've always wanted EVERYTHING to be perfect.
to me, life should be flawless.
BUT the fact is the opposite.
lately, i'm getting FAR TOO emotional.
just a teeny weeny thing, i'll cry.
i dunno what's wrong.
becoz if i could find out the root, i'll definitely not let my emotions control me.
if this goes on for just a few more days, i'm gonna be better off DEAD.
i've had been watching tv tv and more tv to spend my time.
and all the shows had been those that make me cry even more.
i feel like im torturing myself.
but i cant help it at all.
i stuff myself with food to prevent my tears.
where will that bring me to?
NOWHERE. JUST FATS EVERYWHERE.
i'm not gonna bother what anyone would say.
i'm less concerned with those insignificant people i've met in my life.
they are nobody to me.
ONLY TRUE FRIENDS STAY CLOSE.
and it's those usual peeps.
i can only smile by thinking of them or seeing their photos.
it might sound stupid but
they are the only medicine to my sickness.
i dont wanna lose a single one of them.
and i believe i wont either.
THEY ARE ALREADY A PART OF MY LIFE.
part of me live for them.
another part is my family.
i really love each and every one of them.
but i never told any of them I LOVE them.
all i did was show temper all the time.
scream and shout.
and EVERYTHING that i shouldnt be doing.
even if they're right, i will see things to be wrong.
it seems to be a habit.
and they seem to have gotten used or smth, they all give in.
it sounds so ridiculous.
i feel like an idiot.
there used to be another part which is ME.
but it's all gone now.
i once told myself i live becoz of the love for myself and those who love me.
yet now i feel im hating myself more and more each day instead.
my life is screwed.
i ruined my own life.
thinking back to the past now makes me feel so stupid.
all the decisions i made in the past which leaves me nothing but regrets.
slacking might sound great,
playing might sound fun,
having no need to go to school might sound so enjoyable.
BUT ALL THESE ARE LEADING ME TO REGRETS.
life is so short yet i dunno how to live it to its fullest.
so much so that im still doing nothing now.
not even knowing what i really want.
i feel so useless.
im gonna breakdown in no time.
emotion-less
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
i'm now so stucked.
i'm not sure about my own final decision.
i know the crisis now that things got better.
seriously, i wanna help.
YET i know i cant bear my pals.
people who bring joy to my life.
i wanna scream, i wanna roar.
I ALSO WANNA CRY!
shall give myself a few days to think about it.
i hope i'll still be able to smile.
(:
emotion-less
Monday, July 03, 2006
DONT kill me pls.
you've got the wrong girl.
im not the one you're looking for.
thanks baby for being there.
=).
emotion-less
