IMPERFECT perfectionist

boohoohoo

2006-10-08T13:04:00.000+08:00

i hate it when everything goes wrong.
especially with my gastric.
im sick and tired of the come and go thingy.
JUST STOP IT CAN?!
i hate life to be so uncomfy.
when i whine about the pain, my parents get so paranoid.
i know they care but sometimes i cant stand it.
imagine the naggings and all...
it's not that i cant take care of myself.
is just that i dunno what's the perfect way it should be done.
and there's just so many things i dont like to eat which are supposedly good for me.
what am i supposed to actually do?
i cant think of anything else but ROAR.

f.

2006-10-04T21:55:00.000+08:00

ONE DAY I WILL KILL ALL THE MEN ON EARTH.
especially big fat liars.

lalalalalala

2006-10-01T16:07:00.000+08:00

thursday was slackers' meetup.
as usual, those LATE assholes.
MR LATEST, since forever, KELVIN.
pepperlunch-ed.
movie-stay alive at ceni.
wee was super cute la.
you see his hands covering his face most of the time.
i cant help but laugh.
walked back to taka.
sat at the whatever you call those.
sang bday song for mango.
18 on 29th.
she blew the candles.
cut the cake.
we all ate a piece of the cake.
the remaining two...
mango picked the candle out with her teeth and was smashed.
then the fight went on and on and even i got cheese on my hair, face and neck.
thanks to ah long.
roar.
then on the way home, kelvin rubbed some cheese from his hands to mine.
i tell you, can die la.
but no matter what the crap, i still love them.
=).

met my family at crystal jade on fri for dinner.
celebrate amelia's 13th.
nth much la.
no facial, everything's clean.
im lazy to continue with this.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MANGO AND AMELIA.

spare me

2006-09-17T12:33:00.000+08:00

have been busy lately.
hardly have time for myself.
even sleeptime is not as much as before.
im ms poorthing.

seriously, im not at all touched or whatever.
it's what i deserve.
i know mom would go rolling her eyes at me BUT I DONT CARE.

celebrated tina's bday last week in advance coz dad wont be in sg on the 19th.
had thai, as per bday girl's request, on the 13th just before sending dad off to the airport.
he's off to europe for i think 2 weeks.
will be back in time for next bday girl's celebration.
birthdays are troublesome.
later tina has her bbq party.
first thing i wish to bbq is HER.
=DDD.

ytd brought smallie to tm.
she's bullied by the two other girlies.
saw pig pig.
and she said she didnt believe i actually brought her out.
sobsobsob.
she make it seem like im a baddie.
anyway, bought a few rubbish for her to cheer her up.

dinner at dunno what restaurant.
i met a cute boy there.
I WONT SHARE HIM WITH ANYONE.
haha.
will post photos once uploaded.
=)

asdfghjkl

2006-08-24T13:07:00.000+08:00

i guess i've killed my blog indirectly.
it's rotting away and i did nth about it.
been so long since i updated...
well, life this week was a lil sucky.
due the the million bits of my hard lens, my vision got worst.
from my -50 and -250 on the right and left respectively, to the current -700 on both sides.
see that big jump?
i'm given soft lens for the day BUT optiction said i shouldn't wear lens that much coz of some eye irritation on the right side.
it gets damn red especially after i take the soft lens out.
now, at home, i'm living like a blind mice.
i can hardly see so either i squint away or go very near the object.
this would only make my vision worst.
how i wish im gonna turn 21...
stupid op, stupid age.
but well, i went out ytd with yk to bugis.
ss scared me when i boarded 67.
such a meanie.
haha.
go makan at sakae.
i was damn hungry at first but i didnt eat much.
i dunno the reason why i usually feel full shortly after complaining that im super hungry.
ok who cares.
after that went walk around bugis street.
then he went off while i continued walking around, buying rubbish.
sat around and talked with angeline and ah boy.
and that damn boy was so sickening.
we had to accompany him to play pool.
zzz.
i dunno how to play but i just entertain him.
left around 11plus.
such a long day...
anyway, i baked brownies ytd.
YUMMY!
perfect for tea time treat.
=).

when i wish

2006-08-18T13:14:00.000+08:00

my life is screwed.
my money is running out.
i cant exactly rmb who owes me money.
im gonna be so broke already.
i need somebody to support me.
muahahahahaha.

a form of self entertainment.

i hate it

2006-08-16T00:11:00.000+08:00

seriously, dont test my patience.
dont ask DUMB questions.
if you dunno what's DUMB to me, then too bad.
just shuddup and dont ever talk to me.
I TELL YOU, I'LL BE BETTER OFF.

happy bday min

2006-07-31T16:46:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIMIN!
now all of them are 18 already.
i still have to wait.
ROAR.

2006-07-28T14:57:00.000+08:00

i say.
i shout.
i scream.
i cry.
i plead.
and at last i sing,
"RAIN RAIN GO AWAY. COME AGAIN ANOTHER DAY."

hopefully the bbq wont be screwed.
it'll all depend on the weather i guess.
so i might repeat what i did ABOVE.
the insane bday girl to be asked me to bring angie.
it's like so impossible.
coz im so not gonna look after her.

I MISS PRETTIES AND HANDSOME.

mood on the hang

2006-07-23T23:27:00.000+08:00

wth.
my mood is TOTALLY spoilt NOW.
i can scream.
today was the best day since the start of the depressing times.
thanks to the high school musical.
happy and smiling since 7.30.
everything's so ruined now.
im getting more fiery.
IM FUMING MAD NOW!
i can cry.
pls just spare me.
i dont want another breakdown.

asdfghjk

2006-07-18T17:04:00.000+08:00

i hate crawling up early in the morning.
it'll mean napping later in the morning
and waking up later in the day.

my vision is horrible again.
the fact i have to face now is i dunno how to handle soft lens.
they normally get stucked in my eyes.
i daren't put them on ever.
so i have to rely on my specs.
i cant imagine life without my specs.
but sometimes i still will forget to wear them out.
how dumb.

know what?
i'm living in a pig's sty.

high

2006-07-17T22:26:00.000+08:00

why is it that K comes after J?
someone pls enlighten me.

i feel high spending time at watson.
picking stuffs i want.
paying up and bringing it home is the most enjoyable part.
i feel high once again.

bought a dress and a few tops just now.
not really things i like.
it always was NO SIZE.
i've pathetic luck.

nah

2006-07-15T22:10:00.000+08:00

finding my phone again doesnt make me as happy as buying many nail polishes.
in fact, i find myself feeling miserable again.
oh how so pathetic.
i almost died just now at grand's.
my aunt asked me about my MAHJONG in front of my dad.
i swear i wanted to hang myself.
luckily my dad didnt lose him temper then.
if not, i may be dead right now.
though i dont see any wrong with mahjong playing, i wont wanna admit to know how to play in front of my dad.
the one person who i've know all my life to hate mahjong.

=)

2006-07-14T10:46:00.000+08:00

i was a happy girl ytd.
though vision ytd should have made me go crazy, i found myself smiling more than anything.
at least i feel better than the past few days.
bought alot of nail polish AGAIN.
muahahahaha.
that is what makes me high.
WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

phoneyyy

2006-07-11T15:16:00.000+08:00

so much for switching my phone to SILENT mode.
it's been 2 days since i last saw my phone.
also, thanks to the mess i made in my room.
i dunno when can i get my phone back.
i wonder...
seriously, im too lazy to clear the room.
yet i wont let my maid touch my things.
so...
maybe it'll take a MILLION years.
wish me luck.

ytd i felt like an idiot.
too tired after emotional breakdown.
wanted to sleep but had to meet my girls after dinner.
and stupidly, while waiting for dinner to be served, i fell asleep.
WOW.
im such an ass.

i hate it when you people ask me about studies.
i hate you all.
what the shit do any one of you know?
NOTHING.
everything i did was out of RESPECT.

my life

2006-07-10T01:19:00.000+08:00

i've always wanted EVERYTHING to be perfect.
to me, life should be flawless.
BUT the fact is the opposite.

lately, i'm getting FAR TOO emotional.
just a teeny weeny thing, i'll cry.
i dunno what's wrong.
becoz if i could find out the root, i'll definitely not let my emotions control me.
if this goes on for just a few more days, i'm gonna be better off DEAD.
i've had been watching tv tv and more tv to spend my time.
and all the shows had been those that make me cry even more.
i feel like im torturing myself.
but i cant help it at all.
i stuff myself with food to prevent my tears.
where will that bring me to?
NOWHERE. JUST FATS EVERYWHERE.
i'm not gonna bother what anyone would say.
i'm less concerned with those insignificant people i've met in my life.
they are nobody to me.
ONLY TRUE FRIENDS STAY CLOSE.
and it's those usual peeps.
i can only smile by thinking of them or seeing their photos.
it might sound stupid but
they are the only medicine to my sickness.
i dont wanna lose a single one of them.
and i believe i wont either.
THEY ARE ALREADY A PART OF MY LIFE.
part of me live for them.
another part is my family.
i really love each and every one of them.
but i never told any of them I LOVE them.
all i did was show temper all the time.
scream and shout.
and EVERYTHING that i shouldnt be doing.
even if they're right, i will see things to be wrong.
it seems to be a habit.
and they seem to have gotten used or smth, they all give in.
it sounds so ridiculous.
i feel like an idiot.
there used to be another part which is ME.
but it's all gone now.
i once told myself i live becoz of the love for myself and those who love me.
yet now i feel im hating myself more and more each day instead.
my life is screwed.
i ruined my own life.
thinking back to the past now makes me feel so stupid.
all the decisions i made in the past which leaves me nothing but regrets.
slacking might sound great,
playing might sound fun,
having no need to go to school might sound so enjoyable.
BUT ALL THESE ARE LEADING ME TO REGRETS.
life is so short yet i dunno how to live it to its fullest.
so much so that im still doing nothing now.
not even knowing what i really want.
i feel so useless.
im gonna breakdown in no time.

things nvr go the way i want them to

2006-07-04T12:34:00.000+08:00

i'm now so stucked.
i'm not sure about my own final decision.
i know the crisis now that things got better.
seriously, i wanna help.
YET i know i cant bear my pals.
people who bring joy to my life.
i wanna scream, i wanna roar.
I ALSO WANNA CRY!
shall give myself a few days to think about it.
i hope i'll still be able to smile.
(:

bahhhhhhhhhhh

2006-07-03T12:27:00.000+08:00

DONT kill me pls.
you've got the wrong girl.
im not the one you're looking for.
thanks baby for being there.
=).

muahahaha

2006-06-26T23:22:00.000+08:00

last lesson.
FINALLY.
waiting for the next level.
=).
got back very EARLY this morning.
TIRED like i dunno what.
luckily i didnt buy the bubble gum back.
if not sure DIE.

anyway, i was TORTURED.
by athena.
evil sister.

the fortune teller said,
~~AMBITION.~~
beautiful.
fierce-you wont wanna offend me.
no marriage.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
i wanna laugh out so loud.
can i cry too?

mess

2006-06-22T22:29:00.000+08:00

ALL'S that accumulated within a day.

this is the main reason why I HATE CLEARING MY TABLE.
just imagine.
it was only ytd i packed everything AND NOW......
i say WTH.

what.

2006-06-22T11:39:00.000+08:00

sometimes i really feel like crying.
things wont happen smoothly all the time, i know.
the feelings and all, can they even be controlled?
im sure of the very thing, im not willing to give up on anything at all.
help me somebody.
why am i feeling so?

happy father's day

2006-06-18T21:52:00.000+08:00

it's father's day once again.
unknowingly, my family have been celebrating many father's day without the presence of my dad.
as usual, the long distance call to wish him.
well, i called him at 3 in the afternoon.
he said he waited for our call for quite some time.
he thought i just got up.
i guess he expected a call in the morning or smth.
well, we were over at woodlands today what.
it was activities filled.
i guess the kids enjoyed alot.
(:
celebrated with grandpa in the evening.
a very simple one.

know what?
when i opened my inbox, i got an email from my uncle.
it goes,
HE IS VERY SAD BCOS NONE OF YOU CALL HIM TODAY TO WISH HIM.
i couldnt help but laugh.
anyway, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY daddy and all the fathers around the world.
=D!

pouts

2006-06-10T13:07:00.000+08:00

I NEED A LOVER TONIGHT.

bday

2006-06-10T03:25:00.000+08:00

just got back around an hour ago.
shagged.

met up with my slackers.
to celebrate both assholes' bday.
PENG 18 on 7/6, KEL 19 on 9/6.
as usual, the bearable LATENESS.
kel's side was screwed so 7 of us headed for dinner without him.
took quite some time before settling at swensens.
had fun eating, talking and taking photos together.

act cutes.

camera shy? MY FOOT!

mango, peng, son and my ice cream.

wee's. ray's. long's.
i forgot to take photo of our main dishes.
so too bad.
kel came after we were done.
he was still seh seh.
wee mango and i went cake hunting.
and finally bought a chocolate dunno what from secret receipe.
slacked awhile by the taxi stand.

walked over to esplanade.
A VERY LONG WALK.
settled down after awhile.
sang happy bday and cut the cake.

the boys wishing.

ok. im tired.
im going to bed now.
shall upload the rest soon.
NITE.
<3.

mjmjmj

2006-06-04T19:09:00.000+08:00

shagged.
thanks to the fun we had.
=D!
class as usual from 2 to 4.30.
ate at food court then headed for starbucks to look for min and clar.
met the others there too.
went to ntuc to shop for stuffs.
things we bought were limited coz we had to cater to 11 different people's taste.
cabbed over to ting's in 3 cabs.
settled down a lil then went to bake the cake.
amy helped me with the ingredients.
ting and i messed the table abit when pouring the mixture.
after ting left to bring eva to swim, amy and i were in charge.
baked cookies with oreo chunks.
thanks to us, the top of the cake was burnt.
LOL. but dont worry, inside was PERFECT.
=D!
after that was the cooking session.
but im seriously bad at it.
so the only thing i did was to cook chunky soup.
LOL.
easy thing yet i didnt do it well also.
-_-.
after that i went to see them play mahjong in the room.
and clarence did smth very dumb.
LOL.i wanted to tell him but i coulndt coz i looked at ss' tiles too.
so after the next player got the tile then i told him.
i wondered if he went $&@*($@#.
haha. but he still won that round in the end.
dinner time was cool.
11 of us crowded at the coffee table.
had our fill then headed to mahjong room again.
played blackjack. 2 in a team.
ting and edwin.
amy and zacf.
pig and clar.
me and min.
ss and her fren.
overall winner was i think amy and zacf.
me and min only won 3 bucks.
how pathetic.
cake cutting after that.
we had fun with smashing ss' face into the cake.
the video could tell you how HIONG amy can get.
so dont make amy angry hor!
haha.
mahjong - that's what excites me.
itches my fingers.
ting edwin.
pig clar.
sushen.
me.
sushen got bday luck so she was the winner la.
me, i only got a pathetic 6 bucks.
poor clar went to sleep halfway then when he woke up, he had to pay 10 bucks.
guess he learnt his lesson already.
SIT ALL THE WAY THOUGH YOUR GAME OF MAHJONG!
by the time we stopped the game, it was around perhaps 7am this morning.
packed a lil then left to take cab home.
hopefully, sushen enjoyed the celebration we had for her.
=D!

my slacker.<3

2006-05-29T12:34:00.000+08:00

was tiring yet enjoyable yesterday.
first, met up with long at bedok.
then gao lao at eunos.
and surprisingly, ah son came too.
despite the fact that he's in clutches.
and also actually told me that he wont be going due to the rain earlier in the afternoon.
whatever it is, im glad he made it.
so the four of us went down town together to meet the rest.
peng smsed us all to apologise for not being able to join us LAST MINUTE.
i went -_-".
met up with wee at lido.
bought tickets.
headed for ramen ten for dinner.
kel came.
HE WAS F-ing LATE.
i wanted to kill him so much.
we had a challenge which i thought was fun.
haha.
we all had to order spicy ramen (add spicy).
then were not allowed to order drinks.
i swear wee looked damn funny.
he really couldnt take it.
after food, we went back lido for our movie.
poor gao lao watched xmen TWICE.
stupid wee kept forcing me and mango to eat nachos.
what an ass.
after the movie, we called peng.
he was made to join us at coffee club.
slacked and talked.
played with sugar, pepper and salt.
stupid kel added pepper into peng's drink.
BIG FAT MEANIE!
called 3 cabs home at around twelve thirty.
long son and gao lao first cab.
peng kel and me second.
mango and wee last.
HOME SWEET HOME.
(:

yeah i forgot.
stupid wee tattooed his close to butt area.
and his thighs.
mango pulled his shirt and i, his boxers to see the whole tattoo.
then he freaked out.
haha.
then we disturbed him.
took his ezlink and posb card.
IT'S STILL WITH ME RIGHT NOW.
he stupid stupid forgot about it.
this morning call me up to ask.
-.-".
BLUR ASS.
long picked up smoking.
so that makes half of us smokers.
at first it was only wee.
then slowly, 4 of them.
HE'S SUCH A BAD INFLUENCE.
that's a good reason why im not 135 his, 246 peng's.
haha.
but i still love my slackers MANY MANY.

disappointment

2006-05-26T19:02:00.000+08:00

seriously, im disappointed deep down.
but well, it's the first time and i shouldnt be expecting too much.

went to the food expo today.
damn crowded.
two assholes stepped on my foot.
i wanted to scream!

i was out the whole of yesterday.
first to ting's place.
then to ps with the couple.
spotlight for quite some time.
didnt know what to take for dinner.
ended up going to ms.
had thaiexpress.
TOM YUM SOUP!
=DDD!!!

im too upset to blog any more.
BYE BYE.

unattached year old

2006-05-24T19:55:00.000+08:00

pretty pretty pls.
im proud to announce that im one-year-unattached-old.
hip hip hurray.

just got home after a few hours of walk at the beach.
went there for a stroll with my mom.
had a sudden craving for satay beehoon.
so i queued up for it even though it was obvious it's gonna take about 10-15min.
it was worth it afterall.
=))).
im full even till this minute.

yawns.

2006-05-23T22:39:00.000+08:00

im free at last.
shall spend a few mins of my free time blogging.

i think im done with this week's work.
completed quite a few after the trip down to get those necessary stuffs.
went down with ting.
wasnt much for grab afterall.
ytd's weather was f.
sunny fine rainy.
just within maybe 2 hours.

caught a movie at 9.50 last night at tamp.
that one i had been looking forward so much few weeks back.
THE DA VINCI CODE.
well, after catching the movie, i didnt understand why i looked forward to it so much.
i even thought it was a waste of time.
i just feel it's a waste of time as what i saw on screen was actually what i pictured in my mind while reading the book itself.
i could have been either attaching the chamrs to the chains or meeting my PERFECTbf in lalaland.
that was how i felt.
so imagine how glad i was when the movie ended.
even, how delighted i was to make my way home.

dropped dad's stuff into his luggage after bath.
those he forgot to pass to his customers.
im a nice daughter ok.
haha.
after that i did my work till almost 3 i think.
then i dropped dead when i cmi.
woke up kinda late today.

went to ting's to collect and drop some stuffs.
i swear she's one mad girl.
haha.
hsh after that.
and then i did my work again.
completed everything that i could.
quite pleased.
=D!

I LOVE MY PARTNERS!

unwell

2006-05-20T19:16:00.000+08:00

im feeling unwell again.
cough's back, temp rising.
-.-".
i hate life like this.
im too busy with getting sick.
how pathetic.
wanted to go over tamp just now.
but ended up heading for home.
coz angeline wasnt there.
guess it was a blessing i came home straight.
if not i might be dead outside.
fainted or smth.

i said smth which made mommy laughed like hell.
which i dont really think was that humorous.
i simply said,
"eh, mummy! ru guo yi hou wo jia bu chu qu, wo yao gen ni zu."
can someone tell me what's so funny?

bohoo!

2006-05-18T22:40:00.000+08:00

watched a show just now.
it was abt girl fight.
damn sud la.
LOL.
but abit too hard hearted leh.
i hope there isnt any evil girls like those i saw on tv around.

i went to pizza hut for lunch today.
with my sister.
she damn idiotic ok.
out of 4 pieces of pizza, she ate one and told me, "IM FULL!".
i wanted to roar at her ok!

anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING!

=D!

bloggginggg

2006-05-17T22:45:00.000+08:00

sotong sotong sotong.
YUMS!
know what?
I LOVE SAMBAL SOTONG.
=D!
i wish my next bf can cook that for me.
hahahahaha.
im mad.

i finally got enough sleep after these few days.
im so happy.
but still i didnt get to sleep early enough.
so sad.

shall update another time.
when i can think of stuffs.

i think im regretting

2006-05-13T23:41:00.000+08:00

i passed by a place so familiar.
i recalled the beautiful memories spent with that one guy.
but that guy was never my bf.
there was nothing special between us.
just the sweet SMSes, long hours chat on the phone and walking together down the streets.
i remembered walking long distance together just to find the ice cream i yearn for.
i remembered the romantic walk in the rain that we had.
i remembered every single memory.
now as i look back, i feel my eyes watery, im starting to regret.
why did i not accept you?
why did i let go of such a wonderful person i could create beautiful memories with?
WHY?!

roar

2006-05-10T22:02:00.000+08:00

i so wanna kill myself.
i so wanna roar!!!
IM SICK AGAIN!
wtf.
fever came back out of a sudden last night.
cough is getting worse.
im feeling f-ing terrible now.
it's a million times worse than when loosing my voice.
mom made a BIG fuss over it although i felt better this morning.
ytd i wore pyjamas, closed my windows and door, tucked myself under the blanket.
very torturing yet i had no choice.
perspiring will help a lil in recovering.
and indeed i really felt better this morning.
hoped i could go with my mom down jb for some shopping or whatever.
BUT she said i couldnt go coz im not well.
i wanted to scream so badly.
im trying my best not to speak now coz it really hurts.

I WANNA GET WELL SOON!

pei's request

2006-05-10T13:29:00.000+08:00

peili's request:
- specify the gender of your perfect lover
- list down 7 qualities of your perfect lover
- tag another seven bloggers on their page.
but i cant be bothered to tag on 7 others' page.

MALE PERFECT LOVER.
#1 understanding
#2 reasonable
#3 filial
#4 matured
#5 organised
#6 friendly
#7 BEAUTIFUL EYES!

=)

2006-05-08T22:56:00.000+08:00

slacked at starbucks today.
=).
caramel frap.
yums.
chatted with pig about normal stuffs.
and then about boys.
then to someone in particular.
then to a question i myself couldnt really rmb.
then the conclusion.
yes, fark that bastard.
that jiao wei kia.
i have nth to say about him EVER.
clar took like say a million years to come meet us.
by right he was supposedly the first to reach.
-.-".
then the couple made me laugh like hell.
the way they quarrelled and talked to each other.
there was even one part i laughed till i teared.
lol.
then i cant rmb exactly which part was it when i suddenly decided that i wont be calling out UNFAIR that often already.
=x.
went to look for uncle after that.
talked to him while waiting for pig.
he didnt believe i was out with my GIRLfriend.
he thought i was with a BOY.
actually i was with BOTH.
but main purpose was my GIRLfriend la.
coz he was thinking what could i be doing with a girl at starbucks for SO long.
before meeting pig, i went to pass uncle a box of cookies i made.
he told me my cookies not nice.
=(.
and as usual, his fave, he said, "next time gimme cash instead."
after pig was done with everything, we walked back tm to look for her sisters.
then they dropped me home.
=D!

partners

2006-05-07T23:27:00.000+08:00

partners. =).
met up with my partners today.
did a lil stuffs.
=D!

went different taste with pig for dinner.
a poisonous plant touched me.
my hand hurts la.
it reminds me of lucky heights.
i rmb when i was smaller, i liked to go to the garden to pluck leaves/flowers.
then there was once i plucked the poisonous plant which left me a very horrible kinda pain.
i never visited the garden since.
anyway, we wanted to walk back siglap to chill at somewhere for desert.
BUT we walked the wrong direction.
so we ended up getting a cab HOME.

MINE MINE MINE!

<3 my partners.

voting day

2006-05-06T11:12:00.000+08:00

yay. finally.
it's voting day today.
this means that no more loud hailers.
=D!

ytd i was a total meanie.
evil lil one.
tortured my sister.
i felt bad after trying to pull her cheeks apart.
she cried like hell.
sometimes i wish i wasnt so violent.

i cant wait to fully recover.
there's so many kinds of food i wanna eat!!!
i dont want life to be just about porridge.
it's so dull.

i miss my pretty babes.

dsgfdasg

2006-05-05T20:14:00.000+08:00

i cant wait for the da vinci code to be on screen!
18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18!!!!!!
faster come!!!!!

im feeling depressed again.

done

2006-05-04T18:18:00.000+08:00

finally edited this blogskin pig sent me LONG LONG AGO.
thanks baobei.
=).
i didnt know what to put inside so it's kinda plain.
but i cant really be bothered la.
added a chatterbox for a change.
=D.

cough fever flu

2006-05-03T18:10:00.000+08:00

i hate being sick.
i lost my appetite.
i throw out whatever i take.
im coughing my lungs out in no time.
i hate having to turn from right to left and vice versa at night, not knowing which is the best position.
you know, the block nose effect...
aiya. it sucks la.
i dont wanna be sick any longer!!!
somebody save me!!!!!!

coughs

2006-05-01T00:10:00.000+08:00

i wanna scream.
but i dont have the ability.
i've lost my voice.
i want it back!!!
the pain is killing me.
my throat is burning.
somebody pls help me.

sometimes, i wish i got someone to lean on.
a boyfriend, whom i can trust myself to.
yet i dont seem to have the chance to ever fall in love again.
its like mission impossible to me.
i seriously need someone to melt my heart.
i guess it's becoz almost everyone around me are attached that's why im feeling so bad.
ignore my nonsense.

i shall just love myself, my family and my lovely friends.
bf-someone i meet only in lalaland.

shrugs

2006-04-27T22:27:00.000+08:00

i hate it when guys approach girls to get numbers.
i really really hate it alot.
so pls, there are a million more other girls out there, dont ever come to me.
if we are meant to know each other, we'll be linked somehow through our own circle of friends.
i believe in fate so dont push the limit.

sushi making

2006-04-22T00:30:00.000+08:00

i just finished helping my sis with her sushi making.
so lame.
i tell you, i wanted to cry while helping.
those i made looked like shit.
my mom was like freaking out when she saw mine.
hey! im nice enough to help ok.
but i know that im lousy at it.
imagine la.
the rice all stucked to my hands and EVEN LEGS.
i dunno how i managed to do that.
all i know is i enjoyed the seaweed nibblings.
haha.

im happy =)

2006-04-21T22:55:00.000+08:00

motor rides daily.
guess i'll soon get used to it.
but i know i must never let mom/dad know.
=x.
sushi sushi sushi.
yummy yummy yummy.
that's what i have daily.
all thanks to uncle.
his weird thinkings and logics.
nobody could ever understand.
well, not me at least.
anyway, both of us are counting down to the end of the fair.
which boss will count down with you and hope that the fair ends soon?
=).

yay

2006-04-20T22:42:00.000+08:00

the princess.
the king.
the queen.
the funny way things are mentioned.

tired

2006-04-17T22:31:00.000+08:00

great.
VERY VERY GREAT!
im like supposed to be like working tmr onwards AGAIN.
they're in need of people again.
it's the same excuse they use all the time.
sometimes i wish i never joined that company at first.
though i must admit i met alot of interesting people.
people i never thought i would meet in life.
im gonna miss sleeping long hours!
sorry joven.

i dunno la.

2006-04-16T23:08:00.000+08:00

sometimes i really wanna know myself better.
i realise im drifting away from myself.
i know this sounds totally stupid BUT that's how i feel.
as in my heart and mind dont work together somehow.
im feeling so sick.
stomach upset recently.
i wanna vomit but nth comes out.
i wanna shit but nth comes out too.
it's really very painful!!!

anyway, today i saw one aunt.
i was totally disgusted by her.
she came out of the toilet cubicle without zipping up her pants.
she only did so outside.
after zipping, she just walked out of the toilet.
WITHOUT WASHING HER HANDS!!!
YUCKS!

I M M U N E D

vips

2006-04-11T23:44:00.000+08:00

though i might not be seeing you people as often,
i still wanna tell you all that i care and love you all as much.

PEILI
someone i find no difficulties talking to.
and i must admit, i feel very comfortable whenever im with her.
though we contact SO much lesser than before, i know our hearts are still close to one another.
from primary one till now, and always.

CASSANDRA
a person who shouldnt be disappearing so often.
i often feel she's jumping in and out of my life.
too busy with her bf, no time for me.
someone who never failed to lend me her listening ear since sec one.
only she could stand me whine all day.
(:

SHIYING
someone i spent the most of the time with since sec four.
skipped lessons and school together.
we did just SO MANY things together, i dont think i have enough time to list them all out.
no amount of words can express the closeness and how much she means to me.
from the right and left, to the lion and tiger.
it's gonna last more than a lifetime.

YIMIN
another khaki since sec four.
it used to be chan, bernard, pig, herself and i.
the crazy people who pool, town and movie together.
often came to my place to stay back then.
esp after late hang-outs like the first few och and chionging trips.
someone i can talk to too.
it will last more than forever.

TING
the meetups, the mahjong sessions.
the girl fun we had together.
(:
the joy she brought to brighten up me and my fellow gfs' lives.
we'll be partners for life.

SUSHEN
her craps, her slow reactions and her blurness make me smile.
another mahjong khaki who can cook.
BUT QUITE DANGEROUS!
her hokkien makes me giggle.
she's always disturbed and she'll forever be.

AMY
tuition khaki back in 2004.
whenever i had question i dont understand,
she never failed to help.
someone who can sit and wait for a game of mahjong to end, quietly without complains.
how nice.
(:

these girls are the love of my life.
i miss them and love them.
ALOT.

my partners

2006-04-09T11:14:00.000+08:00

i feel like a small kid AGAIN.
lol.
class was alright.
pig and i had chicken rice after that.
ting's mom picked us up and dropped us at her place.
and we started doing our stuffs.
packing i should say.
after that, we mahjonged.
muahahaha.
around 10 plus we started to do smth each.
an experience indeed.

BECOZ WE ARE PARTNERS.

so dead

2006-04-06T18:57:00.000+08:00

have lost contact with the outside world.
i've been home all these while.
life at home is about online shopping, tving, eating and sleeping.
my social life-gone.
im just too lazy.
plus im not sure about stuffs.
you know, the pig dog thingy.
im lousy at coping with such stuffs.
i decided i should give it a miss.
when yimin asked me where was i lately, i told her i was stucked in a tampon.

there's so many things to be done.
i wanna complete it in the shortest possible time.
but i already took too long.
FAR TOO LONG.
for that, amanda shall be ROARED at.

that day when i was sitting in front of my mom, she suddenly laughed.
i stared at her and she said while chuckling, "your brows look really very ugly."
then i just stared again.
she went, "next time dont pluck on your own already."
then i told her i wont then she said she wanna do smth to my brows.
i just smiled, said good night,
and fled.
i know it would hurt too much, i decided to give it a miss.
my mom is those impatient sort.
later she pluck halfway i tear too much she'll tell me forget it.
i dont wanna take this kinda risk.
shall go do my brows soon.

growing up is what i hate most about life.
the changes you have to go through can be really bloodsucking.
if i could, i wanna remain as a kid forever.

fighting

2006-04-06T18:32:00.000+08:00

yay yay yay!
i won the battle today.
LOL.

what do i really want

2006-04-03T14:35:00.000+08:00

havent been feeling really good these few days.
stomach upset and migrane.
reasons to why i think life sucks.
the routine's back.
sleeping late. waking up late. eating late.
everything's late.
wanting back an early to bed, early to rise habit isnt that simple.
life is SCREWED.
i was thinking, perhaps i dont love myself enough.

had a very weird dream last night.
the people in the dream-people i'll least expect to dream of.
it's so fake.
well, it is fake i guess.
dreams seldom come true.

i read some blogs and here comes the boyfriend thing again.
my greatest problem:
i want a PERFECT boyfriend.
i see my ex boyfriends either not good-looking enough or good for nth.
so i dumped them.
AND NOW,
im thinking IF any of them become a very successful whatever in future, how much im gonna hate myself.
or maybe if they go for plastic surgery and become SO GOOD LOOKING, how much i'll regret.
but for once, i think i should feel glad.
ONE of my ex now is really TOO HORRIBLE LOOKING.
uglier than before.
so i think im sorta BLESSED.
=).

i know people reading must be cursing me but i dont give a damn.
this is how realistic i am and life is.

april fool

2006-04-01T13:44:00.000+08:00

1st of april.
yes, that's it.
april fool's day.
im trying to be very careful.
i dont wanna be fooled.
ytd tk asked me out.
my mind was ARE YOU TRYING TO FOOL ME?
i know i might be thinking too much but that's the way it is.
the fact is IM OVER PARANOID.
before that, pig called and told me about movie and bbq today.
i didnt think about the april fool's day thing coz i sorta forgot the date.
then after she hung and all, i was thinking if it was an april fool's joke.
lol.
i know im thinking too much.
but after agreeing to go for movie and bbq, i realised today is my grandpa's bday.
i ought to celebrate his bday with the family.
i've missed too many 1st april celebrations with him.
i decided i shall give the movie and bbq a miss.
ok. the most i'll turn up for the bbq after dinner.
we'll see.
after all, there's smth that's telling me i shouldn't go.
something more than just being fooled on april fool's.
but i shall just shuddup abt the reason.
it isn't good to name it here.
to me, somethings are better left UNSAID.

was changing my blogskin halfway.
too lazy to complete everything.
shall do it SLOWLY.
anyway i dont have any inspirations today.
all i wanna do now is to relax my eyes.
I SERIOUSLY LOOK LIKE A PANDA!

just my day

2006-03-30T21:34:00.000+08:00

lesson learnt today - NEVER TO TRUST GUYS NO MATTER WHAT.
i believe i'm not gonna take into consideration about what any guys have to say.
not even the slightest matter, like borrowing and returning an UMBRELLA.

uncle sent me home today.
it's my 2nd time on bike then.
he drove faster than the previous time and i am not as afraid already.
HOWEVER, i dont like the feeling of riding on a bike.
so i wont want my bf to ride a bike.
i'd prefer cars.

work today was the same.
busy during lunch time, BORED after that.
we practically had nth to do.
and EVERYTHING i wanted to eat/drink today was either sold out or out of stock.
it's just not my day la.
some customers really SUCKED too.
asked STUPID questions.
i wanted to roar so badly at them!

=)

2006-03-29T23:21:00.000+08:00

just got back home.
yet to wash up, shall soon.
right after blogging.
=).
failure to launch with pig at tamp.
kinda cute and funny la.
and i swear the guy beside me SUCK.
he was damn noisy.
if i was his gf, i'll die.
he over commented la.
ok. whatever.
i should count myself BLESSED that he ISNT my bf.
=D!
the movie was at 9.05pm.
before that i was working.
by right i should've ended work at 8 but thanks to ONE customer, we closed later.
as usual, closing means i sit there and wait.
today is lucky day coz i managed to get a seat in the mrt.
and i got this BIG COUPLE opposite me for viewing pleasure.
they were so big that they needed 3 seats.
-.-".
ok. back to work.
today i wore a white tee and jeans.
wanted to wear 3/4 or smth slack but i wanted to avoid being called AH LIAN.
i thought if i wore this way, uncle wont have anything to say abt me BUT IM WRONG.
he's only just less mean compared to ytd.
it was my buttcrack.
he said he'll get me an apron to wear behind to cover my buttcrack.
ok. very nice of him.
grrr.
he says my dressing is AH LIAN.
but i was only wearing a tee and 3/4 ytd.
what's wrong?
perhaps it's the generation gap.
he expects me to wear a long top.
but how long is a girl's top?
it's normally standard length what.
i dont know how to get this into uncle's mind.
i've repeated it just too many times and i've enough of it.
uncle likes criticising people.
esp fat ladies.
and he also likes saying that im weird and picky.
just becoz i dont take this and that food.
just becoz i dont react like everyone else.
but still, i like working with uncle.
he's funny la.
=).

day 2 at gs

2006-03-23T21:46:00.000+08:00

work was fine today until an auntie came.
she ruined my perfect day.
i repeated to her i got no chairs for her to sit.
i repeated to her i dont have half sizes.
i repeated to her she was trying the smallest size.
i repeated each at least TWICE.
what more does she want?
still say i mo ming qi miao.
wtf.
forget it.
anyway, uncle bought me alot of food today.
i spent my free time eating away.
=).

my weakness

2006-03-22T23:54:00.000+08:00

my greatest weakness is being soft hearted.
sometimes i really cannot stand myself for this.
ROAR at myself.

things didnt go on smoothly at the beginning of the day.
i woke up kinda late.
rushed myself when washing up and taking breakfast.
went down to catch a bus to the mrt station.
took 67.
farking couldnt tap the card when i had to alight.
cant be bothered coz im late.
went to the control station to ask the lady help me get refund.
she didnt do that so i went back to her to repeat what i needed her to do for me.
by then i missed a train.
by the time the next train came, it was 10.45, the time i'm supposed to meet uncle ed.
it was when i wanted to call him to inform him that i'll be late, i realised my phone wasnt with me.
ok great.
i forgot my phone AGAIN.
apologised to uncle when i reached.
im polite la.
LOL.
had chicken rice with uncle for lunch.
he asked me why dont i eat egg yolks.
-.-".
after that left for tamp to help out.
just for today!
this is why i mentioned myself having that dumb weakness above.
ROAR again.
nth much happened over at tamp.
that's about it.
im so tired.

last yet not really the end

2006-03-22T00:10:00.000+08:00

supposed to be my last day at work.
yes, it still is, at bugis.
will be helping uncle ed tmr at g.s.
he's one uncle i can say i wont mind helping.
the only one whom i think is worthy of my help.
so i'll be extending my working days.
tmr, fri, next mon to fri.
that's it.
working hours not as f too.

anyway, i met a long lost tns friend today.
sherwin.
cant really recognise her.
kinda surprised that she still rmbs me.
=).
i spent most of the time today at randy's.
helped him with the price tags, arranging and keeping belts.
and as usual, helped him pack meals.
his lunch request was seriously idiotic.
i wanted to roar badly.
he actually told me he wont need dinner coz he thought he wont get hungry.
yayaya.
end up still went to get him carrot cake.
-.-".
helped him sell and look after shop too.
i was running both sides today.
luckily ah boy's here to help.
if not i dunno how me and randy were to survive.
guess we could have become immortals or smth.
had a very heartwarming dinner.
packed all the way from i dunno where (i only know it's far).
sent to me at work by my maternal grandparents and uncle, who drove.
i was very touched.
=).

and yes, ah boy's complaining about being asked why i dont wanna continue working.
i thought, why ask ah boy?
i didnt tell him the reasons what.
anyway, im still helping uncle ed.
it's not really quitting then.
my fellow neighbour told me to complain to the bosses about the aunt.
but i thought what for.
they wont understand one la.
it's like they think she does sales very well.
HEY! IT'S CRAP!
it's just becoz people at bugis will buy.
as simple as that.
not what she does sales well.
even a mute can do as good there.
IM SERIOUS!

close to the end of the day, i realised my slippers needed glue treatment so i went to touch up.
but since i got no experience, i made a mess instead.
ah boy offered to help so i let him.
went to randy's to help while he ate.
came back and realised my slippers were missing.
-.-".
which farker took my slippers?!
end up i bought a pair of wedges.
which is CRAP.
that's the only thing nice i see there.
i buy and wear just to go home.
how pathetic.
i was screaming badly at ah boy for my missing slippers.
i know it wasnt totally his fault la.
shall just forget it.

BYE BYE BUGIS. BYE BYE F AUNTIE!

2006-03-19T23:54:00.000+08:00

yay. no work tmr.
and the day after is the LAST day!
yeappie.
im so happy.
im so high.
LOL.
work today was the same.
nth special happened.
ate with randy over at the other stall.
that AUNTIE asked me what took me so long.
she's such an asshole.
but well, who cares.
she's out of my life once i quit.
=D!

last day

2006-03-19T00:03:00.000+08:00

there's so many things im not pleased about.
so many things i wanna roar at.
to make life easier for myself, i've decided to stop helping.
tuesday will be my last day at work.
yay!
im so happy!

tamped

2006-03-17T01:16:00.000+08:00

tamped today.
yes, in slack attire.
purpose was to go pizza for lunch.
after lunch we just walked around aimlessly.
went metro then isetan to look at fragrances and cosmetics.
after that we headed for guardian then watsons.
watsons was where we spent most of our time.
i guess around an hour.
must be wondering what this two mad girls were doing at watsons right?
well, we had no place in mind to go so we walked around to see what we could get from watsons.
and we bought quite a few stuffs there.
it's like so not us.
haha.
after that went to the night market.
got some stickers and sticker book for angie.
went to look for smth at venus whicjh was still out of stock.
went to buy bubble tea then headed home.
the taxi driver was a lil mad la.
he kept saying thank you.
very polite la but he said thank you-s inappropriately.
at first we thought going to tamp means nowhere to shop but we ended up with bags to carry back home.
i think it's due to our itchy fingers la.

miss you

2006-03-16T05:07:00.000+08:00

i dunno why i suddenly miss my bunch of slackers.
mango, wilson, patrick, peng, kelvin and wee.
especially the gossip around.
having our "qian da wen da ti" session during breaks.
going to pavilion to spend our long breaks.
rushing for class all the way from tamp mall.
after lesson hangouts.
neoprinting too.
just everything.
i miss them ALOT ALOT ALOT!

lalala

2006-03-16T01:17:00.000+08:00

pig helped me pluck my brows!
haha.
and i tell you got hole!
LOL.
very funny la.
ok. whatever.
im gonna eat.
she cooked for me.
BYE!

high time for ROARING

2006-03-15T22:18:00.000+08:00

blog time!
it's been kinda long since i last updated.
lazy you see.
ok anyway, my life's about work and off days these two weeks.
and also not forgetting, about ROARING!
work's on tuesday, friday, saturday and sunday.
nth much to blog abt work.
it's the same routine what.
just that i meet different customers.
who cares about that anyway.
last week
wednesday- i cant rmb where i went. =x. probably slacking at home.
thursday- went to reg for the course. town with pig. bought some stuffs. movie-d. LAME one. the date movie.
this week
monday- shaggy dog with pig at tamp.
wed, which is today...
went to mp to enquire abt stuffs. then pp to eat our dunno lunch or dinner.
AND luckily we headed for town.
yimin this horrible human made us feel so pissed off and tired.
we were supposed to like meet her for movie then she tell us she'll call us.
then when she called, she cancelled it.
or rather eslynn.
so we decided to catch a movie at lido instead.
and becoz of yimin and eslynn delaying our precious time, there wasn't any timeslot that we wanted. ROAR!
it's either a movie that started 20min ago or a movie 1h30min later or a movie at that moment which only have seats for the front row! ROAR!
hp batt low due to checking stupid timeslots. ROAR!
there's nth i can do but ROAR!
i wanna roar badly at yimin and eslynn!
ROAR! ROAR! ROAR!
a million times.
after roaring at yimin via sms, she told me she'll meet us at tamp for movie.
then 5min later, she said she's not meeting us.
ROAR again.
so we ended up taking train back to bedok.
met pig's mom then headed for giant then pig's place.
now im here in front of the comp, beside pig, ROARING BADLY!

happy bday pig

2006-03-07T01:26:00.000+08:00

im late.
one day late.
it's past midnight already, you see.
so i have to add a BELATED inbetween.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BAOBEI!

was out in the evening.
marina squared with the bday girl and amy.
went to eat at kenny rogers.
walked around.
we were very cold ok!
anyway, by the time we were done with food, most shops were closed la.
we sat in the "family car cut into half".
LOL.
went to pig's place to cut cake with her family.
seems alil extra hor?
haha.
watched tv throughout over at her place.
left at 12.45am.
ah mah gave me and amy each 5packets of peanut.
or whatever that is called la.
what i know is i like to eat that alot.
we walked home.
and hey! i took less than 15min to walk home.
coz i was a lil scared after amy reached her place.
haha.
first time walk home so late myself.
got abit of cheng jiu gan. =x.

work tmr.
wish me luck.
wonder if i can get used to it anot.
hopefully can la.
shall bring smth to read there if not i might be bored till death.
unless sales at bugis is superb.

saya mahu pergi tidur.

gfs =).

2006-03-05T13:04:00.000+08:00

im up.
im early.
didnt sleep much.
slept from around 8+ till 12+.
tired yet i couldnt fall back to sleep.
many things running through my mind.
the images i see is killing me.
i dont wish to think any further.
seriously.
anyway, managed to meet those lovely girls.
it was just that few of us enjoying ourselves with the company of one another.
it's smth i cherish alot though it's just a simple gathering.
purpose was to celebrate pig's bday in advance.
first we went to play mahjong.
left for fisherman at around 11.
there was free show for us by some gays.
didnt bother to look at them much la.
coz im disgusted.
after we were done with our food, we left.
continued with our mahjong game.
and know what?
I AM THE OVERALL LOSER!
JUST MY LUCK LA.
ok la.
shant go think about it.
i dont wanna make myself have to say zao zi jing ri he bi dang chu.
i used to say that many many times and i dont see a point of repeating it anymore.
but obviously, it's for another reason la.
well well it's time i shuddup about the shit i just mentioned earlier.

im gonna go work soon again.
poor me.
somebody pity me la.
why always lack manpower???

what the crap

2006-02-27T14:58:00.000+08:00

The body of a leopard is covered with apple.
My father is very egg. He is at least 195 centimetres.
I live very near my school, so I usually elephant to school.
These flowers cat last for a long time. They fade fast.
Don't believe his story. It's a Angela of lies.

i cant believe it. all these are total crap.

LOL!

2006-02-27T14:25:00.000+08:00

muahaha!!!
i did smth very stupid just now.
i cant believe i did it but i just did la.
it's a lil inconvenient to say it out here in full.
all i can say is it was the silliest thing i've done in my life.

have been waking up at 7.40am for 15min every weekday since last week.
wanna know for what?
yes. you're so right.
i gotta wake up to make sure angie dont go to sch late.
and obviously, with a cane on my hand.
i've taken over my parents' place to teaching her.
coz she's afraid of me more than them.
i just have to use the cane to hit the table once, she'll be on her feet.
how i wish i dont have to do that but i cant sleep well when she whines every morning.
so since im gonna be awake, i'll teach her how to be less inconsiderate.
after she head for school, i'll be back at lalaland.

i still cant help laughing.
=x.

i really dunno wtf is wrong

2006-02-26T13:41:00.000+08:00

yes. it's another thing im troubled about.
the shittiest stuff on earth.
why me of all people?
there are so many more women on earth.
why still me?
i feel very pissed off by the fact that things which shouldnt happen happened.
it seems to be like my fault somehow.
i mean although it's nth much, i feel kinda bad for things to end up this way.
i might not know the whole truth.
what im told might be just lies.
what did i do to have to face all these?
i want life to be perfect, rmb?

IKEA-ed ytd.
bought a bit of stuffs.
now my room is pretty neat.
=).
im very tired.
had been trying to clear my room since few days back.
it's still incomplete now though.
i know im slow.
but what can you do?
im born like that.
haha.

sometimes i hope i got all the energy to go out again like in the past.
i mean like go out daily meet my friends and all the crap.
that way, i can like stop my mom from taking for granted im a good girl.
she actually expects me not to go out.
couldnt even like catch a late night movie like before.
everything's changed.
can i undo the past?
but issit worth?
i really dunno la.
kill me pls.

marsha marsha

2006-02-20T18:51:00.000+08:00

im so pleased with my table now.
i spent quite some time with the neoprint thingy.
though im aching now, i feel it's worth.
but i gotta do smth with the plastic.
this one isnt perfect enough.
i've got many photos of my babyself under the plastic cover.
only 2 recent ones.
the rest are stucked in some albums.
one sheet of transparency filled with neoprints.
ELFY.
powerpuff girls cut-outs.
that's about it.

someone pls pity me.
i cant find any of my specs box.
my specs is gonna be so dirty.
=(((.

i smell chicken wings.
i smell sambal kangkong.
i smell a good dinner ahead.
=D!
anyone wants to share with me?

oh ya. i have this urge to go to ikea.
i dunno what exactly i wanna get.
but i just wanna go there.
must wait till mommy wants to go.
it's pointless to go ikea alone you see.
abit sick.

mom got me two tubs of ice cream.
yeappie.
ok. she asks me to go have dinner now.
so tata.

anyway,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILLIE!

oh i dunno

2006-02-17T19:55:00.000+08:00

so many questions i wanna ask.
so many doubts i have to clear.
but where to start?
im feeling funny.
things are happening too suddenly.
i find it difficult to believe.
it seem like a joke.
i really dunno what exactly it's like.
not until you tell me the truth.
you are the only one who can help me out.

dedicated to my brother

2006-02-16T13:06:00.000+08:00

dedicated to Ken, my lil brother.

being a teenager isnt easy. the ups and downs one has to face is inevitable. there are just too much to juggle with. from studies to family, friends and even relationships. far too much to cope. however, all it takes is to be self-disciplined and organised. yes, i know the peer influences from people around might be so strong that you cannot avoid. but still, it's about yourself. you can stand against wrong and speak up for yourself. not everything everyone says is right. even if majority says a particular thing is right, it doesnt exactly mean that way! are you trying to tell me that out of 10 people, 9 take drugs, the remaining 1 should do the same too? NO! it's never that way. and shall never be! so pls learn.
anyway, nobody is restricting you from hanging out with your present group of friends. making friends is your choice but just be sure of the people you mix around with. whether they are good or bad influences. dont ever let anyone ruin you! we only wanna see you change for the better and not the worst.
i could see a tremendous change in you in just a month. mom thinks so too. WHY? all the coming back late, screamings and shoutings, chatting on the phone for long hours and every vulgarities that come out from your mouth really hurt us. everyone in the family cares for you. dont you realise? cant you actually feel it? i seriously dont know what can i use to describe the disappointment in all of us.
i know you might be comparing me with yourself. the why jie jie has this, why jie jie can this and all the why jie jie this and that you have in mind. look, it's somehow the age thing. im 18 this year while you are only 14. frankly speaking, i was like you back then. fought for what i wanted and caused myself to be rebellious in a way. oppossed to whatever dad and mom wanted of me. what did i get in return? i lost the trust and hope dad and mom used to have in me. i dont think you would want anything like this to happen to yourself. to have them regain the trust again isnt a simple thing. trust me, you will eventually hate yourself for landing up in a state like as if you lost both parents. al the freedom you want can be give, but step by step. i've learnt this lesson and i dont wanna see you repeating it after me. as you grow up, more and more freedom will be given. it's just a matter of time. wait just for a few years. it isnt a great deal anyway.
learn how to respect people if you wanna be respected. teachers are not always right but they ought to be treated with respect by students no matter what. dont tell us you think teachers should respect you without you doing likewise to them.
there are so much more you will face. you have to overcome them all on your own. but always remember you have the whole family behind you. =).

belated vday

2006-02-15T12:30:00.000+08:00

it's another valentine's day without a bf.
well, i dont need one anyway.

what is valentine's day anyway?
a day for cupid to do extra work?
for pockets to be burnt?
it's actually nothing special to me.
it's just another day on the calendar.
a day couples go to posh restaurant together to dine in,
a day girls receive flower bouquets larger than themselves.
yes, a great deal for restaurants and florists, they get to earn much more on this day of the year.
it's actually money-making gimmic.
valentine is a smartie to have created such a day.

there's smth i miss so much this valentine's.
a gathering which we girls used to have together.
i dont know why but i just like spending vday with my girlfriends.
of course i dont get to spend it with those attached ones.
towning. kboxing. neoprinting.
and all the shit we could bring ourselves to do.
i just love them to bits.

who says valentine's day is complete only if celebrated as a couple?

DREAM

2006-02-11T00:02:00.000+08:00

it was so fun dreaming.
=))).
yes, the unrealistic stuffs.
what else?
seems non-practical yet achievable.
it's just how much effort you will put in.
i believe we can.
it wont just be a dream.

tamp just now.
cafe cartle for coffee.
aijsen for dinner.
it was kinda crap but was alright overall.
the differences in our thinkings were the thorns.
that was why we were like arguing throughout.
LOL.

gonna work tmr.
SIAN.
i dont feel like working lor.
but again, lack of manpower.
wtf.
shall look on the bring side.
it's only 5h.
-.-".

there's so many things we can do.
but which to start with?

lalala

2006-02-09T18:46:00.000+08:00

i got this damn problem EVERY NIGHT.
i dread it.
i wish i could just stop it.
i can go to the toilet for like 12 times in an hour when making my way to lalaland.
how pathetic can it get?!
maybe i should get myself some pampers to wear to sleep.
it will help me to move and whine less.
yet it shouldnt be that way afterall la.
what i exactly have to do is go consult one ass doctor.
which yes, i admit, im afraid to face the result.
i know i should look positively BUT how to?
i have to look at the negative side and think how i should face and overcome it instead.
aiyah. whatever.
shant think about it already.

went to temple today to pray to tai sui ye.
however you call him.
ytd saw baobei with her mom and grandma at joo chiat temple.
she went there to pray to tai sui ye.
must be wondering why we have to pray to him right?
well well, we, dragons fan tai sui this year.
we aint supposed to go to hospital to visit our patient friends or even attend any funerals.
it's like being overly superstitious but well, it's better to believe than to take it for granted.

gonna have bbq on sat.
a family bbq.
actually not really a family bbq also la.
i dont exactly know what kinda bbq it is.
mom asked all of us to invite some friends.
so anyone wants to come?
i feel it's more like a gathering for everyone around us and for the adults (other than my mom) to have an excuse to play mahjong.
and the kids will either be swimming, bbqing, eating or fighting.
and for me, im definitely gonna enjoy the food feast.
chicken wings and more chicken wings.
yummy.
=D!

i need someone to talk to badly.
but i dunno who to turn to.
im afraid to like disturb them.
like say call at the wrong time?
argh. i dunno.
anyway, i just wanna say, im not just any girls.
i dont do things i dont want.
i only will accompany my bf, no one else.
think of my reasons as excuses if you like.
it's not gonna affect me at all.

1 to 6

2006-02-06T22:03:00.000+08:00

from 1 to 6, and still counting...
the first, it's as normal even till this moment.
the second, nth could be worst.
the thrid, the most wonderful ever.
the forth, was just a childish act.
the fifth, i'm sorry once again.
the sixth, i've tried my best.
life can never be perfect.
looking forward for the arrival of the 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th and more.
chuckles.

i dont know why but im thinking of him again.
yeah i know i shouldnt be.
but i cannot help it at all.
come to think about it, i was such an ass.
if only i can undo the past...

it's still as usual, amanda and her constipation problems.
i just cant stand it.
somebody help!!!

the crying irritant

2006-02-06T14:26:00.000+08:00

was sleeping so peacefully until angela cried.
WTF i thought.
as expected, she was hoping to skip school.
all thanks to my dad who allowed her to do that.
i screamed at her for crying.
i scolded her.
SHE COVERED HER EARS.
i shouted even louder.
i had the urge to give her a tight slap but obviously i'd rather chop her into pieces.
i told her NO MORE TV FOR HER.
NO MORE PLAYING.
NO MORE EVERYTHING.
but you think she cares?
NO.
she'll just actually forget all about it.
how idiotic.
now, i've decided not to talk to her anymore.
not until she learns how to NOT CRY early in the morning.

im not stupid too

2006-02-05T17:47:00.000+08:00

watched im not stupid too.
very emotional somehow.
teared like mad.
now my eyes are kinda swollen.
=x.
the movie is realistic.
something so SINGAPORE.
growing up is always the toughest part in life.
especially the teenage years.
i've personally been through it, and still is going through.
i see some of the scenes very similar to my own life.
parents dont really understand us.
they'll never do coz of the generation gap.
but there's one thing i've always believed, every parent loves their child.
even if they dont say it out, it doesnt mean they love less or care less.
pride has taken over probably ALL PARENTS.
every parent wants the best of their child.
who wont want to see his/her son/daughter becoming successful in future?
getting disappointed in one another is only normal.
it's just about how much the disappointment is.
i was disappointed in my parents before and so were they in me.
it's gonna happen to every single generations.
no matter how close the age gap is, there bound to be disappointment, quarrels and differences in thinkings.
so to those people who can actually tell me having babies earlier will not show an obvious generation gap, you are so wrong.
there definitely is generation gap between parents and child NO MATTER WHAT.
i personally think that parents should spend quality time with their kids.
they should never neglect their kids even if they have heavy workload or whatsoever.
without spending enough time, problems will crop up one after another.
like say you will never know how to communicate with your child, your child will rather talk to a friend than you and might even end up losing a child.
i think im saying too much.
i can end up writing a hundred more lines if i dont stop now.
so yeah, bye bye.
Father And Mother I Love You.

i dont understand

2006-02-05T01:47:00.000+08:00

damn my computer.
i farking hate it.
luckily i got this laptop as backup.
it's secretly hid among some stuffs.
i doubt anyone would ever find it.
haha.
=). evil grins actually.
it's the first time i'm actually using it la.
so there's practically nth inside.
spent quite some time transferring some files from my hp via bluetooth.
and i also managed to throw in the lovely family portrait.
now i cant make up my mind coz there are too many photos to choose.
could anyone kindly help?
should i put a ALL AMANDA pic or a SO FAMILY pic?
i cant decide.
well well, i'll slowly go think about it.

anyway, i met one totally rude lady today.
i tell you, i couldnt help but stare at her.
she farking dont deserve any respect alright.
she actually just walked into my grandma's place LIKE THAT.
come in like her own house like that.
even my grandma was like "WHO ARE YOU?".
she didnt even to like say hello to my grandma or whatever.
i mean so what if she's my uncle's friend?
SO WHAT.
she should actually ring the doorbell before she even opened the door on her own!
it doesnt mean anyone can come in like that if the door isnt ledged!
then when she came in she should like at least greet my grandma!
STILL EXPECT ME TO CALL HER.
JIE JIE SOME MORE.
WTF.
i die also wont call her.
im disgusted by her POLIETNESS.
all i did was commented to my grandma that she was HELL DAMN RUDE.
and omfg she wore a tube.
she farking got no breast la.
i mean so small wear what tube.
DISGUSTING BITCH.

nowadays im getting used to wanting to chop people.
whenever im pissed i'll say, "SHUDDUP BEFORE I CHOP YOU INTO PIECES!" or "WHY WHAT YOU WANT? WANT ME TO CHOP YOU INTO PIECES ISSIT?!" and many more la.
i dunno what's with the chopping thing la.
im just so used to saying it already.
but i definitely WONT chop anyone la.

a long day

2006-02-02T23:32:00.000+08:00

today's a nice day.
=).
went out with my parents.
actually to nowhere special.
just to my maternal grandparents' place.
had lunch with grandpa coz he wanted someone to eat with him.
he said he'll bring me to eat when he's free.
muahahaha.
that's my no.1 grandpa la.
=D!
after that i sat and watched tv for like 2 hours or so.
dad talked to grandpa, mom showed ah kim pics and angie played with eli.
we left and headed to the fortune teller's place.
it was the first time i asked to check mine.
the first card SUCKED la.
but overall was not bad.
went to pick tina after that.
that girl is like blind or smth.
didnt even see me until i made noises.
-.-".
went to pick lia then we went to temple to pray.
after that went to eat.
then hsh.
i changed into a jacket and left for tm.
lalalas.
was gonna meet pig for a movieee.
went minibits buy hairband.
saw yimin and co. outside urban dunno what.
talked awhile then went to find pig.
bought tickets for my kungfu sweetheart.
went to look for yimin and co.
headed into the cinema when it was time.
that show is funny la.
nice ok!
i was like telling pig if yimin was watching with us too.
i bet she'll laugh her butts off.
lol.
pasta mania-ed after that.
went to find yimin and co. after we were done.
talked with pig till around 10.30.
both of us went to take 67 back.
hsh. =).

one thing i dont understand is how those rumours spread.
why that way?
i dont get it.

i dunno

2006-02-02T00:46:00.000+08:00

i feel no longer the same as before.
i guess i can never feel that way again.

it's past bedtime but i still cant get to lalaland.
smth's stopping me though im dead tired.
i so hope to be sleeping like a log now but i cant.
why why why.

earlier in the day i waited for darling baby to come.
he didnt wanna call me!!!
sad sad.
when i decided i should go out, he asked where was i going.
he licked me instead of kissing me.
i swear i'm gonna miss him.

bugis-ed.
watched memories of a geisha.
hsh at close to 10.

my life's getting more and more BORING.
i want something interesting!!!
like say have more activities.
maybe i should faster look for smth to study la.
i cant be possibily rotting my life away what.
but one thing is i dont know what i wanna study.
scared later halfway give up.
then what?

LIFE IS SO MEANINGLESS!

asghjk

2006-01-31T23:29:00.000+08:00

yes. perfect.
i dont know how to describe this.
but all i can say now is
I WANT TO BE HAPPY!!!

fark those assholes who made me not as happy as before.
i hate you all la.
KNNBCCB.
yes. that shall be my last vulgaritiy of the year.
shall control myself.

i just dunno what to say.
i dont know where to start.
i wanna express things out but it's not as easy as it looks.

how i really wish life could be perfect.
sighs.

brandon darling is such a cutie.
i love him many many la.
i swear im gonna miss him lots.
talking abt him reminds me of gary.
i miss him alot ok!
i wonder when can i next see him.
both of them are such lovely darlings.

they make me SMILE. =).
at least im a lil happier than just now.
i hope my happiness level will increase tmr.
tata.

whatever

2006-01-28T11:39:00.000+08:00

im done with work.
FINALLY.
kept my promise to help till the 27th.
i struggled and managed.
to me, i've done well.
better than before.
first job that i managed to stay on for 18 days.
thoughout this period, i met alot of customers.
and the poor customers were very unlucky to have met me.
i've got this attitude no customers could tolerate.
trust me, if i was the customer being served by AMANDA LEE, i'll die.
i farking could tell them i no need them to buy if they wanna ask so much.
i farking could scold them farking bitch right at their face.
i farking could diao them when they ask me for repeated size, different design.
i farking could tell them not to waste my time if they dont wanna buy.
i farking could raise my voice when they request another new pair when i actually was packing a new one for them.
i just could farking do anything as long as im not happy.
so what if customers are right?
that's their business.
when they piss me off, they are wrong.

the best moments were the slacking times we all had.
talked, bitched and had fun.
working with them was fun but having farked up customers was like shit.
(ok. fine. i guess it's not the customers problem. it's actually myself. the way i look at things especially.)

happy bday

2006-01-19T22:12:00.000+08:00

just got home around an hour ago.
went to celebrate my grandma's bday.
had the loveliest dinner ever.
=).

supposed to go to yk's chalet.
but, im sorry.
im not in the mood.
dui bu qi once again.
anyway,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOY.

i hope the pain just end FAST.
i hate to control my tears from falling.

work work work

2006-01-19T11:46:00.000+08:00

im finally having my off today.
it's a special day today la.
=).
yay yay yay.
i finally managed to have more than 11 hours of sleep today.
im so happy la.
these few days only slept for like the most 9 hours plus only.
im poor thing right?
yes yes.
haha.

well, im quite happy working now.
the people i met there are nice.
the bosses dote on me.
i feel so luckyyy.
=))).
since they are such wonderful people, i see no reason why i should quit halfway.
i promised i'll help till the 27th of this month.
and i'll keep my words.
im now like running about.
can say extremely busy.
but i've got no choice at all.
coz the company's in need of manpower.
that day work ended LATE.
uncle BIKED me home.
i swear i wanted to cry la.
first time im on a bike and there wont be the next.
mom got a shock when i told her i came home on a bike.
she warned me NEVER to sit on bikes in future.
yeah yeah.
i wont.
my head will feel heavy la.
haha.

haven seen the usual peeps since the first day of 2006.
i miss them la.
esp baobei and handsome.
my two lovables.
LOVE THEM LOADS LA.
dont worry, im perfectly normal.
STRAIGHT.
cant i love my besties?
=).
and of coz, i miss LANHONG la.
i so wanna fry seaweed chicken, fries, onion rings and hams together!!!
(actually can just forget about the onion rings. =x.)
and stuffing ourselves to PIZZA AND DRUMLETS.
yumms.
my life is not gonna be complete without them.
i love them la!

i cant wait for daddy-o to come back!!!
im looking forward to the 26th.
then yay, hey hey.
the pictures!!!
=).
i love my family many many.

my love; gG.
my life; LANHONG.
my everything; FAMILY.

yawns

2006-01-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

haven been updating for quite some time already.
started working on monday.
within these few days many farked up things happened.
dont wanna mention it since it's already over.
i just hope nth will go wrong anymore.

i was asked today when will i marry.
dont you think it's a wth question?!
im like only 18 to be.
why should i even think about marriage?
zzz.
and seriously i dont at all think WE look like a couple.
look at him...
he's the opposite of my perfect bf.
imagine.
AND,
i dont wanna get beaten up.
coz that young lad is a father to be.

ok. enough. now i have a question.
wait i suddenly forgot what i wanted to ask.
er.
eh.
hmmm.
here goes.
why must people stead when there's love?
can't they like love without the status?
coz i personally dont believe in steading.
firstly, i dont wanna commit.
secondly, i get sick too easily.
thirdly, i get turned off too easily.
and many more to list.

anyway, im really falling sick soon.
shall go to lalaland now.
BYE!
=)

fcuk

2006-01-07T18:31:00.000+08:00

i dunno what's wrong these few days.
im grumpier than usual.
every tiny things im not pleased with, i'll scream.
then i'll have that urge to slap someone.
wtf man.
also when someone calls at the wrong time, i'll shout.
i mean can those assholes gimme a break?!
didnt i like mention im not in the mood already?

haven gone out with the usual people already.
im lazy.
also they didnt call me up and i too didnt call them to ask where they are.
so, life now is about being at home.
either tv-ing, computer-ing, phone-ing, sms-ing or sleeping.
the slack life of amanda lee.
i do sometimes leave the house awhile for a car ride or smth.
i need a break somehow la.
going out sometimes can be a chore.
coz the thought of going out to do things i dont like SUCK.
perhaps i should go and work to ease my boredom.
but still, im lazy.

ytd baobei told me she broke her arm.
omfg.
it's like i seriously dont know what to say.
it'll be so inconvenient for her.
if she didnt blade, she wont have to spend chinese new year with that cast.
i just hope she gets well soon.

grandpa helped me fulfil 2 of my 2006 wishes.
thank you.
=).

btw, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY AMY!

=)

2006-01-05T18:46:00.000+08:00

my mood still isnt on the right track as yet.
but i can tell it's definitely better.
im deciding now on what im gonna do this year.
i cannot possibily be slacking all the way over at home.
it's not that it isnt nice to be at home.
just that i cannot be doing nth at all what.
i have to move on with life.

went to see babyy reyes.
he's so adorable la!!!
fei fei sucked ok.
he scratched my leg.
=(.

i think it sounds tough being someone's daughter-in-law.
i have people now telling me to watch my attitude and all the crap.
to save myself from unreasonable mother-in-laws or those who expect too much.
im told to change my bad habit and that's being lazy la.
i'll try ok.
anyway grandma/grandaunt tell me so much oso no use.
im not even prepared to get married what.
-.-".
get what i mean?
i dont even wanna date now.
so conclusion is wait till i have a bf then say la.

ok. enough said.
time for dinner.
tata.

-.-

2006-01-04T22:31:00.000+08:00

im seriously not in the mood.
dont talk to me.
i wanna scream badlyyy.
tears are on the verge of falling.
why am i like that?

recently just so many things happened.
almost all were unexpected.
what am i supposed to do?
how to face the shits?

i hate life.
can i just jump down and die?

somebody come save me from this cruel place.
i dont think i can take it any longer la.
i wanna breakawayyy.

it just seem to me that i can no longer be as happy as i was.
i dont get why is it so.
i mean like i have nth much to worry about now yet im not as happy as before.
hey it's like wtf ok.

i think it has smth to do with...
aiya i dunno what also la.
it may be the weather.
it may be due to lack of slp.
it may be becoz it's gonna be time of the month.
it may be this year.
perhaps 2006 isnt my year.
things dont seem to be going on smoothly.
like say some asshole pissed me off by rubbing foam on my face.
the very first thing i was pissed about in 2006.
or it might also be becoz i miss 2005.
but of coz not the last part of 2005, having indecisive friends who end up at downtown while we were at town.
that sucked la.
there are so many maybes.

im poor thing la.
i thought a new year would mean a better start.
but it seem to me that im so wrong.
=(.

perfect

2006-01-02T22:02:00.000+08:00

im no longer the lil girl you all once looked after.
im no longer the lil girl who dont understand what adults are doing.
im no longer who i was in the past.
im growing up.

the problem couldnt be solved.
i swear it doesnt matter to me anymore.
it's just so simple.
as from this year, you people are no longer related to me.
not in any ways.
dont ever expect me to even say a hi to any of you.
this mail im typing now will be the end of everything.
ask for no more.
coz you people are worthy of nth.
i hate you all.
ALOT.
im no longer gonna be that good lil girl.
NEVER EVER.
i mean, why should i?
when you people are nth to me.
just get out of my life.
i want nth to do with you all.
i'd rather die.

grandad

2006-01-02T20:43:00.000+08:00

i sure was tired.
i went swimming at around 11 this morning.
a family gathering la.
oh ya. btw i made my own breakfast today.
=))).
after swimming, we all headed for grandma's place.
had our lunch.
i liked the bond we had.
something i wont get all the time from particularly the other side.
grandma cooked stuffs i really liked.
things i'll never get to eat back home.
after that we sat at the living room to watch tv.
grandpa was like doing some kungfu moves.
(fighting rather)
so i asked him what he was doing.
then he answered me dunno what and said those moves could kill.
i was laughing like mad la.
then he started telling us his experience.
he was almost robbed by a group of 4 around 16 years back.
one of them was his fren's son.
wtf. -.-".
he used that fighting move i saw him practicing to defend himself.
luckily he didnt kill la.
the guy only vomited the white foam.
police came and bye bye to the baddies.
all of them were imprisoned.
but before they were really sentenced, grandpa was robbed AGAIN.
(this time, it's robbed. for real.)
i wonder if they were the same group of people.
grandpa cant tell coz he was robbed in the lift.
the people stopped the lift at lvl 9.
(the old lifts dont stop at every lvl. his stopped only at 1, 5 and 9.)
switched off the lights in the lift and asked grandpa for his money.
he had no choice but to give becoz the person threatened him with kerosene.
but luckily he only gave half what he had in his pocket.
so that was around 2K.
after that the robber asked for his ring and watch.
but grandpa only gave the ring coz watch was given by his daughter.
the robber also cannot see what he was wearing.
after the robber got what he wanted, he just left without letting my grandpa off.
he was still stucked in the lift.
wth.
so my grandpa used his walking stick to knock the lift until people came to save him.
(it was 12+am hor. people who are pig all sleep till song song liao.)
after that police come ask him what happen and all the crap.
asked him how the robbers looked like and shit stuffs.
he said he dunno.
then the police kept asking why.
(come on man. so dark see what?!)
i was thinking should be the same group of people who failed to rob him the last time.
coz they might feel buay song.
didnt manage to rob him still must go jail and one of them was beaten up till like dunno what.
ok. but whatever it is, im glad they only robbed my grandpa and not take his life away.
what's 5K compared to his life?
NTH.
i love my grandpa.
(my mother's father.)

and yay. tmr he's bringing me to eat my fave food.
=D!

happy new year

2006-01-01T15:51:00.000+08:00

hey everyone, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

this year's countdown is PATHETIC.
it's nth compared to sleeping at home.
seriously got damn pissed off by the organisation.

if i knew it would turn out that shitty, i bet i wont wanna even leave my house.
counting down while watching disney channel sounds nice.

met yimin, eslynn, potato and gx at princess upstairs.
after they were done with billarding, we went to mac to eat.
i bought student meal.
finished with the help of potato and gx. =).
i didnt waste food hor. =D!
training to town sucked la.
potato and gx stopped at bugis to meet ben and co.
while three of us went to city hall.
KNOW WHAT?! the two assholes said they'll be going fisherman with the other guys.
HEY WHAT THE FARK!
fine whatever.
headed for somerset to meet pig and pl.
saw gilselle and joel.
then esther they all.
we all hid at the telephone booth.
lalalas.
saved for awhile.
went to ljs.
pig and pl ate combo 1, yimin and eslynn had chocolate pie.
after that decided to leave for downtown east.
BUT we wanted to buy the spray first.
grrr. got sprayed like siao la.
esp yimin.
i couldnt even tell it was her lor.
was on the phone. cant you be a lil more understanding?
forget it la.
FINE.
in the end bought the spray from plex.
cabbed to downtown.
the uncle very funny lor.
the fun started again at the techno party.
we sprayed them.
hurhur.
in the end they also go and buy to spray us.
-.-".
me and pig went to sit.
left when all were done.
those who pangsehed were gone.
those who wanted to go home went off.
the rest of us walked to 24h.
they played blackjack till aroun 6.
-.-".
farking tired la.
still must wait for jh and potato to finish their food.
YAWNS.

anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR SON! =)!

cookiesss

2005-12-31T11:56:00.000+08:00

wah lao eh. my mom is super paranoid la.
shou bu liao.

well, gonna make second batch of cookies as soon as im done with this post.
ytd was the first since im back.
gotta make some more then enough to give people ma.
i dunno what's their plans for counting down later at night.
how am i supposed to pack the cookies for them?
somebody teach me leh.

i've yet to make up my mind.
shall wait and see la.
im seriously not those kind who will use my mouth to express care and concern.
i really am not wei da enough.
yes, i know im selfish, self centered.
that's me. who can do anything?

ytd ps-ed my lovables.
was lazy and i haven completed sorting out the pictures.
plus changi's kinda far for me.
okok. conclusion's i was too lazy.

i shouldnt be awake so early.
thanks to the ah neh's singing so loudly and lousily.
they broke my lovely dream.

ytd night at around 11.45pm, my aunt called.
she talked to me for like half an hour.
longest conversation i ever had with her.
what else will adults be telling me?
same old thing.
it's fine with me seriously.
but it simply suck big time when they doubt me when i answer their question to whether i've got a bf anot.
if you all dont believe ask for what?
and also, if i say i dont have bf but have gf instead you all also cannot do anything what.
i mean, what's the problem man.
i know what im doing.
im only 17. if i have a bf now, how long can we last?
a 100 days? or even lesser.
i wont, for god's sake, marry at 20.
it's far too young.
this will also mean 3 years from now.
hey! 3 years from now, i should still be enjoying life with myself, my family and my friends.
marriage isnt the thing now.
it's more to courtship at my age.
but seriously, i cant take it.
i dont wanna have a record of dunno how many bfs before marriage.
also, pls did i ever mention to any of you that im gonna marry?
-.-".
it just isnt the right time yet to talk abt all these.
will you adults be a lil more understanding?

i want my life to be just abt me.
no bfs.
im happy the way i am, unattached.

chalett

2005-12-29T18:36:00.000+08:00

tonned at chalet last two nights.
shagged.
i went there at 28th (past twelve midnight) after enjoying with my slackers over at marina.
ok wait.
marina was alright.
spent quality time with them.
it's been a million hours since i last saw them.
had fun steamboating and bowling.
=D!
back to the chalet.
hmmm. when i reached there 2 beds were occupied by supposedly two couples.
(i thought la.)
but in the end i knew there was only an offical pair.
kinda surprised in a way but well what can i say?
ah zai wished me belated bday while i wished him happy birthday.
haha.
it was the birthday season you see.
went to cheers with the two girls.
saw the guys outside cheers then headed for mac with them.
i swear it was pathetic la.
LOL.
1 set meal shared by dunno how many people.
then this stupid daniel wanted to puay with me for the remaining 49 slaps.
after going back, i dunno what else we did then we got ready to slp.
i felt like vomiting so i walked to cheers.
choon followed.
i wanted to actually buy milk so i can vomit.
but choon sorta said shouldnt or smth.
ended up didnt buy anything.
-.-".
walked back to chalet and sat outside, trying very hard to vomit.
ate chocolates.
drank green tea.
ended up vomiting abit outside and quite alot in the toilet.
was glad i wasnt feeling as uncomfy.
after that i was rewarded to chocolates.
LOL. shared with those not asleep yet.
then i went to bed.
the space was limited la.
couldnt sleep well.
plus those guys were farking noisy after their game.
then ended up being really squashed.
thanks to ben and his gf.
-.-".
luckily the couple on the floor gave up their bed to me while they breakfast-ed.
sleep till very song that time, the aircon person came.
nabei.
i had to go out of the chalet room to sit with those eating mac.
i didnt have the feel to eat.
all i wanted was a nice sleep.
when the man left, i swear i was damn happy.
slept.
then i dunno why and how i woke up.
played with evelyn.
hurhur.
had fun la.
LOL.
went out with choon and the couple.
cabbed home alone.

chatted on phone for quite some time.
asked cass over to eat.
phone again but with diff person.
lalalas.

pig came to pick me up opposite my house then we picked pl at tanah merah.
headed for chalet together.
bought green tea and kinder bueno on the way.
the guys had fun at twelve.
offically peiliang's bday what.
so they "gangbanged" him. LOL.
after that some stupid things happened.
went to cheers to look for pig.
then we waited for yimin and eslynn.
peiliang came soon after.
after buying their stuffs we headed for chalet.
(actually wanted to slack at mac one)
they had a second round of fun but with different victim.
this time round it was bc.
we girls stood outside to see show.
they played cards.
i sat and see.
it was funny la.
haha.
after that went to sleep or rather reserve bed.
wanted to sleep but pl and choon asked me not to.
so pei them talk after they finished playing golf on phone.
then massaged pl and sx.
then slept.
again at a certain time, people got noisy and started to piss me off.
the switching on and off of the lights SUCKED.
slept till around 12 plus.
stupid cleaner came.
gotta go.
bye chalettt.
cabbed home with min and pig.

ate abit after bath.
lalalanded.

anyway, once again,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEILIANG!

babies

2005-12-27T13:45:00.000+08:00

to think i was asked how many kids i want in future.
-.-".

well, i want none.
=).

unless a miracle happens and i decided i really love someone.
then i might have either one or two at the most.

babies are adorable but irritating laaa.

lalabfff

2005-12-27T13:02:00.000+08:00

i miss you.
i miss you alot.
i yearn to see you.
where are you?

why is it always that i never get the chance to see your face?
it's always the body and legs.
NEVER the face.

WHY WHY WHY?!!!

you are supposed to be my PERFECT bf.
the one i'll meet in lalaland.
but whenever we meet, i dont get to see how you look like.

it's not supposed to be like that.

backkk

2005-12-26T23:50:00.000+08:00

ok. im back. i was away la.
before blogging on further, i shall wish myself first.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA.
LOL.
it's lame but who cares.
anyway, once again, thank you to everyone who wished me.
=).

hmmm. this year's bday was weird.
first time without cake.
i had ice cream as replacement instead.

christmas was still alright.
went to party at ktv on the 25th at around 12am.
met the cutest person in my life.
i swear i love him many many.
<3.
his cheeks, his smiles, his everything.
i just miss them so.
i rmb asking him, "where do you stay?"
he answered, "i stay in my house."
so innocent. so cute.
his big hug and his goodbye kiss. will be kept in my heart.
gary, i miss you.
jie jie and jie fu were cute la.
so were the other couples.
i just dont get cherry and ryan.
it is a lil complicated.

shopping at toy city ytd was fun.
my brother bought me a mahjong set as a bday gift.
small and cute type.
shhh. dont let my dad know. =x.
later he chop my hands and head.
still got more stuffs la.
and i quarrelled with some shop asses.
but still i must still say. i hated some parts.
shant mention it here.
tony treated us to dinner last night.
he wanted to see my other siblings and my mom la.
how lame.
but it's ok la. since we stay so near one another, we had dinner at the restaurant downstairs.
and wait. i was almost pickpocketed.
luckily tina saved me. PHEW~

disneyland was fun.
but still, not as fun as america's.
but well, mai hiam buay pai.
shall upload the pictures.

TINA!!! cute hor?

tina and lia.

my siblings.

them again.

babyyy

2005-12-12T12:43:00.000+08:00

smiles. =))).
ytd went up to see babyyy. SO CUTE!!! love him to bits. =x.
his smiles; so adorable.
just too irrisistable.
<3.

on sat, it was wen jun's 1 mth celebration.
drank a teeny weeny bit only la.
im a good girl right? =).

-.-

2005-12-03T17:47:00.000+08:00

i was indirectly killing myself.
ok. well, im ill.
i just have no appetite for anything.
i vomit practically EVERYTHING i ate.
is that serious enough?
i think it is.
anyway, daddy is like complaining to mommy stuffs which are so WRONG!
luckily mommy believes me. =).
heh.
<3.
im missing the whole world.
my lovables especially.
im poisoned.